Monday Morning Sports Rant: May 16, 2011

Maxim chats with sports blogger Drew Magary of Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber about this weekend’s athletic hits and misses.

Maxim chats with sports blogger Drew Magary of Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber about this weekend’s athletic hits and misses.

¿maxim: ¿ ¿Thunder advance, Heat get beat, and the Sawx sweep. As a Yankees fan, I’m not in the best mood¿. Did you follow the whole Jorge broohaha?¿¿

¿bigdaddydrew: ¿
¿I do believe he refused to play rather than hit ninth in the lineup, yes?¿ Because he’s a bitch.¿¿


maxim: ¿ ¿That’s the gist of it¿¿


bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿
People who aren’t Yankee fans have always known that Posada is a whiny bitch with an Adam’s apple the size of a basketball.¿¿

But Yankee fans are completely blind to that.

“He’s a TRUE Yankee! So gritty!”

Like you have to be a complete prick to qualify as a true Yankee: Posada, Paul O’Neill, etc.

¿maxim: ¿ ¿Joe Dimaggio?¿¿¿

¿bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿Right!¿¿¿

I’m trying to think of who else this situation relates to.

Stephon Marbury.

Scottie Pippen.

Allan ¿Iverson¿¿

Andray Blatche, I think

They all went into Operation Shutdown

maxim: ¿ ¿Manny Ramirez must have refused to play at some point, no?¿


bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿Oh I’m sure.¿¿

But he would refuse to play WHILE playing.

¿maxim: ¿ ¿right¿¿¿

Damn, I miss that goofy bastard already.

¿bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿I admire his brazenness, in a way.¿¿¿

It takes balls to halfass it with 50,000 watching you and spitting on you.

I would be shamed into trying


maxim: ¿ It’s when Baxter the dog eats the wheel of cheese in Anchorman¿

You can’t even be mad, just impressed.


bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿Indeed¿¿


maxim: ¿ ¿
What’d you think of the basketball this weekend?¿¿


bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿I think it worked out exactly how the NBA liked it.¿¿

The Thunder made the conference finals, and now the Bulls have made it clear they won’t let Miami walk right past them, which I think many people kind of expected.

Which is dumb.

Miami acted like it won the fucking title after they beat Boston


maxim: ¿ ¿Well Miami acted like it won the fucking title when the big three were introduced¿¿


bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿
They certainly did.¿¿

I think that’s one of the reason why people hate them.

IT’s like, “OY! It’s not that easy, you know!”

¿ ¿

¿maxim: ¿
It’s not a good sign when Bosh has his best game of the postseason and they still lose by 20.¿


bigdaddydrew:¿ ¿
But now his one good game is out the way, so things can only improve for Miami.¿¿

I think both series will be highly watchable.

¿maxim: ¿ ¿
Oh, definitely¿.¿¿

Durant was on fire.

Is there anyone who doesn’t like Durant?


bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿I guess not.¿¿

Unless you have a fear of long arms.

Then he might scare you to death.

¿maxim: ¿ We forgot one quitter¿:¿


Recently too.

¿bigdaddydrew: ¿
¿My prediction about Tiger is only twenty years away from coming true!¿¿¿





maxim: ¿ ¿
What are your predictions for the conference finals?¿


bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿Give me Mavs/Heat.¿

Because who wouldn’t want a replay of the most poorly reffed Finals ever?


maxim: ¿
¿I can’t tell how good the Mavs are, because the Lakers were so terrible against them¿.¿


bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿
I figure Dirk gets one last run before the young guns take over next year¿.¿


maxim: ¿ ¿Kidd too¿¿


bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿Yeah that’s how the NBA works¿.¿

The old guard has to be dragged away first.

¿maxim: ¿ ¿I haven’t spotted Kidd’s kids on the sidelines¿¿¿

Which is always a delight.


bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿What about his wife?¿¿

Is she still around?

She fine!


maxim: ¿
¿Don’t google “Jason Kidd’s son” unless you want to feel guilty about yourself¿


bigdaddydrew: ¿
¿Why, does he wear a helmet or something?¿¿¿


maxim: ¿ ¿no, I guess his head is just naturally huge¿¿


bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿HEAD! FOOD! NOW!¿¿

maxim: ¿ Quick pet peeve – am I the only guy bothered by the mono-chromatic basketball crowds?¿

¿It seems bush-league.¿

I like it in college, but for some reason in the pros, I find it…irksome.

bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿Everyone hates it¿.¿

It’s like, “Hey, how can we make this game more like a Nazi rally?”

maxim: ¿ ¿final question:¿¿

How deep will the conference finals go?

bigdaddydrew: ¿ ¿I’d wager at least six games each¿¿

maxim: ¿ ¿And you think it’s Dirk’s year?¿¿

bigdaddydrew:¿ ¿To get to the Finals again, yes.¿¿

To win? No.

I’ll say Miami wins it all because God hates us.

maxim: ¿ ¿If Lebron wins, is everything forgiven?¿ Is “the Decision” justified?¿

bigdaddydrew:¿ ¿Eh, it’ll never be justified¿.¿

Only to him.