Bad News Draymond Green, the NBA is Cracking Down on Dick Kicks

Or as the league calls them, “groin hits.”

Draymond Green’s versatility is pretty unique in the NBA. Few players can bang with the bigs and dish out assists like he does. Even fewer can shoot it from three and block shots like he does. And no one can kick dudes in the dick like he does.

Green is a nut shot artist, and his best work was on display in last year’s playoffs, when he repeatedly whacked the Thunder’s Steven Adams in his kiwis. Unfortunately, that may have been our last time seeing him perform his finishing move now that the NBA is planning to crack down on cracking dongs.

The hits to the groin — termed “unnatural acts” by the league — are a point of emphasis after a number of situations involving Green during the postseason. Golden State’s All-Star forward had a habit of flailing his arms or legs and a few times made contact with opponents in the groin area.

This is great news for all the other players in the league, who can now going into games without fearing for their ability to reproduce. 

But it’s also good news for Green and the Warriors. The dick magnet in his foot cost him a game in the NBA Finals last season, and we all know how that ended.