The NFL Big Five – Week 12

It’s Thanksgiving! Who wins the turkey leg and who lays an egg? (Turkeys lay eggs, right?)

The new NFL week is here and with it comes chaos. Fortunately,Maximis here to help you navigate these uncharted waters with five predictions that will undoubtedly (or just maybe) come true.

(Photo: Bob Levey / Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012)

Big Upset – Lions over Texans

Titus Young will ride the pine this week over repeated on-field incidents that can best be described as “being a total asshole.” Jim Schwartz is hoping this might be addition by subtraction; benching a huge attitude might jumpstart the offense against the tough Texans’ D. That’s only half the battle though, as the tandem of Nick Fairley and Ndamukong Suh need to get penetration and stop the slippery Arian Foster. It will be tough, but the Lions have a shot at procuring their first Thanksgiving win since the Clinton era. And if not, Suh will probably crush Matt Schaub’s larynx, so that’ll be fun anyway.

Big Performance – Eli Manning

After a traditionally bad Giants November, the G-Men are starting to smell the Cowboys on their trail (they smell like manure and choking in the playoffs, by the way). Playing at home, under the lights, after a bye, against a team like Green Bay is exactly what Eli needs to shake off the cobwebs. Look for a few big fourth quarter drives with a stupid expression on his face. Seriously, has an incredibly competent quarterback ever looked so incompetent?

Big Flop – Justin Blackmon

With an early Thanksgiving Day game looming, Houston looked to try to cruise against the Jags while keeping everyone healthy, but they were surprised by a team that all of a sudden had a downfield attack. With Henne getting another shot against the Titans, we’ll see if the OSU prospect is for real, but we’re guessing he’ll have a slow day.

Big Storyline – Thanksgiving Divisionals

The Cowboys (barely) pulled themselves to one game behind the Giants last week, and they’ll look to extend in an all-important divisional matchup on Turkey Day against the Redskins. While the ‘Skins looked good last week, it was painfully apparent to us (and Marcus Vick) that the Eagles had quit weeks ago. The Jets will have a tougher road to the playoffs, but a promising win over the Rams last week might set up a dramatic Thursday night win at home against the Pats, which could then set up a run to the Wild Card spot. But probably not.

Big Stinker – Panthers at Eagles

The first disappointing-looking Monday night game in a few weeks. In the battle of who cares less, the audience might come out on top.

To see what we learned last week, go here.

Or just check out these cheerleaders in slow motion.