No, a Hot Dog Is Not a Sandwich

The powers that be have put the old “is a hot dog a sandwich?” question to rest once and for all. 

For millennia (so, a couple of years on the internet) humanity has wrestling with a philosophical quandary so immense that it has pitted our greatest thinkers against each other and torn friends and family apart. I’m speaking, of course, about the question of whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich.

I, for one, have always believed that nay, a hot dog is not a sandwich. That’s just fucking wrong. And, like always, I am on the right side of history. The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council, experts in all things weenie-related, have released a statement putting the argument to rest once and for all:

“Limiting the hot dog’s significance by saying it’s ‘just a sandwich’ is like calling the Dalai Lama ‘just a guy.’  Perhaps at one time its importance could be limited by forcing it into a larger sandwich category (no disrespect to Reubens and others), but that time has passed,” said NHDSC President and ‘Queen of Wien’ Janet Riley. “We therefore choose to take a cue from a great performer and declare our namesake be a “hot dog formerly known as a sandwich.”

So there you have it. But remember: a hot dog may not be a sandwich, but it’s still a medley of scrap animal parts shoved into another dead animal’s intestine. Cheers!

Photos by Cultura RM / Getty Images