See the Moment a Hero Atlanta Braves Fan Saved a Kid’s Face From Turning Into Mush

Nice work, dude.
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Nice work, dude.

Here’s a list of things worth noticing in the above picture, which was taken by crack photog Christopher Horner at Saturday’s Pirates-Braves spring training game over the weekend in Orlando, when a player accidentally hurled his bat into the stands straight at this kid's unsuspecting face. It is by no means exhaustive. 

1. The hero fan preventing a baseball bat from seriously ruining this kid's day. 

2. The muscles in that man's arm, which probably did more damage to the bat than bat did to it.

3. The clueless, slack-jawed look on the kid’s face, as if he just got called on in third period during a surreptitious PornHub session.

4. The derp faces on orange jersey guy behind the kid and bearded dude to his right. 

5. And orange jersey’s dedication to keeping that beer safe. 

6. All those helpless hands warding off the bat like it’s a puppy working hard for a crotch sniff. 

7. The guy under the railing who dove for cover, willingly allowing the bat take out whatever unlucky bastard was behind him. 

8. The white-haired camera man to the left of the kid, who clearly didn’t get the shot. 

9. The wedding ring on our hero's finger. Sorry, ladies!