When you pay a premium to sit right behind the dugout at Yankee Stadium, you’re buying more than a tremendous view and the right to text your friends so they can see you on TV, you’re also buying a damn good chance at a foul ball. All it takes is a little luck and little coordination and you’ll be going home with a souvenir that the serfs in the upper decks can only dream about. But you’re rich, you’ve earned it.
Unless you’re this Yankee fans, who’s only earned ridicule. Watch him blow not one, not two, but three chances at catching a foul ball, the last of which was softly tossed by a sympathetic ball boy. Watch the woman sitting next to him go from amused, to embarrassed to disappointed in his alligator-like athletic skills. Watch it all and let the schadenfreude wash over you.
Whatever you do, don’t feel bad for this guy. Anyone that young who can afford front row Yankee tickets—or who has them given to him by the corporate lizards who own the seats—is doing just fine in life. Consider this a case of cosmic comeuppance, a balancing of the scales for all those Yankee fans who can’t even afford to step inside the house that Wall Street built.
If you want to feel sorry for someone here, feel sorry for the woman, who didn't just have to suffer the indignity of sitting next to this doof, but is being seen all across the internet today making this face: