Presidents Who Could Use Badass Movies - Maxim

Presidents Who Could Use Badass Movies

"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" is a fun idea, but why waste it on an already great commander-in-chief?
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"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" is a fun idea, but why waste it on an already great commander-in-chief?

Clearly no one can process anything that doesn't involve vampires anymore, so they've gone and made American history more easily understandable with the upcoming Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. But we ask: Why waste this retroactive badassery on a president who was already pretty badass? If you're going to Michael Bay the facts, go hog wild and take the opportunity to empower a president whose story could use a little sprucing up. Here are some former leaders of the free world who could use that extra boost (and, well, Teddy Roosevelt, who can never be too badass).

Tango & Taft

Tagline: "A tough L.A. cop who plays it by the book. A reform-minded Republican who lowers tariffs first, asks questions later. Together they have to stop a ruthless criminal…if they don't kill each other first."

Teddy Roosevelt: Agent of SHIELD

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Tagline: "Speak softly, and carry a fully-armed NF-3000 flechette-firing handgun."

J.Q.A.: Rise of Cobra

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Tagline: "When all other foreign policy efforts fail, he doesn't."

2 Fillmore 2 Furious

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Tagline: "This summer, get ready to Whig out."

Die Harding

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Tagline: "All Warren Harding wanted was a return to normalcy. But corrupt cabinet members with greasy palms have other plans. Now, he's alone. He's tired. And he's the only hope we have."

Jimmy Carter on Mars

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Tagline: "Ineffectual in our world. Found in another."

The Polk Identity

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Tagline: "Napoleon of the stump? Young Hickory?  James K. Polk is out to find out who betrayed him, just as soon as he figures out who he is."

Lone Wolf McKinley

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Tagline: "Spain won't let Cuba have its independence. Big mistake."

Chester A. Arthur vs. Predator

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Tagline: "Earth won't be getting a second term."

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Posters created by Marta Berkolayko.