Celebrate 30 Years of 'Full Metal Jacket' With the Drill Sergeant's Most Vicious Insults, Ranked - Maxim

Celebrate 30 Years of 'Full Metal Jacket' With the Drill Sergeant's Most Vicious Insults, Ranked

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Stanley Kubrick’s Vietnam war masterpiece Full Metal Jacket has so many memorable scenes and choice bits of dialogue that, 30 years later, its presence is still felt in pop culture. Just think, when’s the last time you said “me so horny” or told a buddy he does something “like old people fuck.” 

For all of its brilliance though, Full Metal Jacket, which opened in U.S. theaters on June 26, 1987, is perhaps best known for the epic opening scene in which R. Lee Ermey’s Gunnery Sergeant Hartman delivers the verbal ass kicking of the century to a group of Marines.

It’s vulgar, hilarious and inspiring—the kind of thing that makes every mope with a Amazon account order a book on screenwriting and start writing dialogue. That’s why, to celebrate the film’s 30th anniversary, we’re ranking every insult from the scene. But first, to watch it:

12. “I do not look down n*****s, k***s, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless.”

11. “You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!”

10. “Do you suck dicks?”
“Sir, no, sir.”
“Bullshit, I’ll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.”

9. “I’ll PT you all until you fucking die. I’ll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk.”

8. “I’m going to three seconds, exactly three fucking seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you.”

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7. “You little piece of shit you look like a fucking worm.”

6. “You are pukes—the lowest life form on earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are only unorganized, grab-asstic pieces of amphibian shit!”

5. “Did your parents have children that lived?”
“Sir, yes, sir.”
“I’ll bet they regret that. You’re so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.”

4. “Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who’s the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant?”

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3. “Looks to me the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!”

2. “How tall are you, Private?”
“Sir, five foot nine, sir.”
“I didn't know they stacked shit that high!”

1. “I bet you’re the kind of guy would fuck a person in the ass and not have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around!”