Inside The World’s First Sex-Themed Amusement Park

Now THIS is how you vacation in Brazil.

Disney World is getting a competitor for the spot of “happiest place on earth,” because Brazil is about to open the world’s first sex-themed amusement park.

Aptly named “ErotikaLand,” this X-rated amusement park will feature a selection of fun rides, such as penis-shaped bumper cars for visitors to smash giant, colorful dicks into other giant, colorful dicks, a “train of pleasures” complete with go-go dancers, and a titillating 7D cinema with vibrating seats, for optimal viewing pleasure.

The only catch is that the park will be a strict no-sex zone, but not to worry. If all of the sexual stimulation proves to be too much to handle, guests will be encouraged to check into the park’s motel to relieve all that built-up sexual frustration.

“This won’t be a place for nuns, but it’s not like we’re trying to recreate Sodom and Gomorrah. If attendees want to take things to another level, they can go to a nearby motel — which we will operate,” said Mauro Morata, the mastermind behind the park. Riiight. Because despite all of the sex everywhere, us horny humans are definitely going to follow that rule.

With that said, the ErotikaLand will also have a nudist pool with a naked water slide, and a snack bar dedicated to serving aphrodisiac refreshments to fuel the illegal sexual activity around the park and the inevitable orgies in the nudie pool.

Set to open in just 2 years in the city of Piracicaba, about 90 minutes outside of Sao Paulo, you can visit this wonderland of sex and genitals for just $100 a person. 

We can’t wait.