Shannon Elizabeth Wants You To Adopt a Turkey

Oblige her.

Oblige her.

Photographed for Maxim by Stephan Wurth

Here at Maxim, we’re not in the business of saying “no” to beautiful women. It’s just not what we do. So when we heard that Shannon Elizabeth is asking people to adopt a turkey this Thanksgiving rather than carve one up, we said, “sounds weird.” And then we said “Okay.”

It turns out that Elizabeth is the official spokeswoman for Farm Sancuary’s Adopt A Turkey Project (and with Thanksgiving just 8 days away, this is kinda their busy season). A longtime advocate for animal rights, the American Pie star—who, unlike that franchise, only seems to get better with age—was apparently so charmed by her first encounter with a live turkey, that she decided to become actively involved with their cause. This is the 25th year that Farm Sanctuary (an organization devoted to protecting and rescuing farm animals of all kinds), has run its Adopt a Turkey program, and to date they claim to have saved around 1,000 birds from the slaughterhouse. Pretty dismal metrics, when you consider that roughly 46 million turkeys get the axe every Thanksgiving, just so you can stuff your gullet and pass out fully-clothed in the name of some antiquated tradition.

Here’s the takeaway: no one is going to stop eating turkey on Thanksgiving. The idea that that’s ever going to happen is comically ludicrous. But since it only costs $30 to save one of these suckers, you might as well offset the damage you’re doing by partaking in this delicious murderous tradition by saving a turkey at the same time. It’ll make Shannon Elizabeth happy. And if that’s not enough of a reason, think of it as penance for the unspeakable things you intend to do to that poor bird next week.

Show me more things I can eat.

Show me more things I can drool over.