Face it, the 2009 holiday movie season boils down to one question: Are you down with blue cat people? With such a simple and, frankly, no-contest debate, we're going to turn our attention to 2010 and the movies that will have fanboys screaming, box offices churning, and actors running from things that will be added in at some point before New Year's Day.
Clash of the Titans
Coming: March 2010
Yes, this is a remake of the 1981 Harry Hamlin action flick built around Greek myths and legends. It stars Terminator Salvation's Sam "I don't give a fuck what kind of movie it is, I have one haircut. Deal with it" Worthington and a host of creatures and flowing robes.
Unfair Snap Judgment: Anyone else getting a Mummy Returns vibe? Eh, whatever. It's not like the original was good.
Coming: April 2010
Based on the comic book (the movie went into development when the series was on, like, issue #2 - nothing like waiting to see if it was any good or not, huh?), Kick Ass is about a kid with no powers who decides to become a costumed vigilante.
Unfair Snap Judgment: It looks like Spider-Man meets Superbad. Spider-Bad? Nope. Sounds Spider-Good to us.
Alice in Wonderland
Coming: March 2010
Tim Burton takes the world's most Tim Burton fairy tale and makes a Tim Burton movie out of it.
Unfair Snap Judgment: Yep, looks like a Tim Burton movie.
Coming: July 2010
Angelina Jolie realizes she needs to work in between puppies, so she stars as a CIA agent who goes on the run after being accused of spying for the Russians.
Unfair Snap Judgment:The Babe Identity? Sign us up.
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Coming: May 2010
Jerry Bruckheimer proved he could turn a theme park ride into a franchise, but now he's truly tackling the career "widow maker" - the video game movie.
Unfair Snap Judgment: Anyone else getting a Mummy Returns vibe? Oh, and Jake Gyllenhaal looks about as Persian as Heidi Klum. Think they'll catch hell for casting Middle Eastern actors in just the villain roles?