Sports Rant: June 13, 2011

Maxim chats with sports blogger Drew Magary of Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber about this weekend’s athletic hits and misses.

Maxim chats with sports blogger Drew Magary of Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber about this weekend’s athletic hits and misses.

maxim: We did it! We beat the Heat! We sent our loathing for them out into the world, and it worked.

bigdaddydrew: Indeed it did.

Like a Christmas of hate.

And the best part is that LeBron will end up learning NOTHING.

Peep this link

maxim: He’s already saying that God kept him from winning because it wasn’t his time.

bigdaddydrew: “Now that he has faded so dreadfully, he’s destined for a dreadful, awkward summer of anguish and second-guessing his play. If that doesn’t happen, he’s just unbelievably arrogant, or a psychopath.”

I think its funny the ESPN guy doesn’t realize that the latter fits LeBron to a tee.

Wasn’t HIS fault Miami lost.

It was just…GOD.

God’s kind of flawed, but LeBron? PERFECT.

He won’t change.

It’s not like Kobe where Kobe loses and then finds one part of his game to work on over the summer and drills himself 50,000 times a day.

LeBron just shrugs it off and goes and shoots a fucking State Farm ad.

That’s the difference. Deep down, he doesn’t really give a crap.

maxim: Well right, because God will let him know when “it’s time.” He doesn’t have to do shit.

It was obvious the entire series that he doesn’t really give a shit. Even those lame pre-game speeches. “Let’s be desperate.” He was practically falling asleep while he was talking.

bigdaddydrew: Yeah, I think the whole actual playing part bores him.

All the other stuff? The marketing and the hype and shit? Loves it.

And I honestly don’t think that’s correctable.

He was crowned too early. “The next MJ.” Sorry, Michael Jordan would never, ever, under any circumstances, have even one post-season performance as lethargic and tentative as LeBron’s.

But he believed his own hype. Which I guess as a 17-year-old is maybe tough not to do…but couldn’t someone, somewhere along the way, have given him a swift kick in the ass?

bigdaddydrew: But who’s gonna do that?

Once Dick fucking Vitale is announcing your games at 17, I don’t know. You’re kind of ruined.

And the caveat to many of these analyses is…Well, he’s still young.

But he isn’t.

Not anymore.

Derrick Rose and Kevin Durant? YOUNG.

And if Miami doesn’t win a title in the next two or three years, that’ll basically be it.

maxim: Oh yeah. They need to win next year. That’s partly what’s so shocking about LeBron’s post-game attitude. He should be like, “We have a lot to work on in the off-season. We’re going to correct our mistakes. We’ll be back.” Instead of “God said it wasn’t my time.” Wtf?

bigdaddydrew: And he sucked!

For his ability, he sucked last night.

Like a wideout who goes two quarters without a catch

He just disappears and it makes no sense.

He did, he shrank. And I heard one of the announcers say, Oh, well he’s doubled teamed. Are you fucking kidding me? If you’re one of the best players in the game, as a viewer I should not really notice when you’re double- or even triple-teamed. You should still be knocking down 30 points, at least.

bigdaddydrew: There was one play where Wade was double teamed and he just blew right through it.

And LeBron could bench press six Wades, so for him to shy away from a double team is pussy shit.

maxim: He honestly looked like he didn’t want the ball so he couldn’t be blamed.

bigdaddydrew: Yeah, he couldn’t get rid of the ball fast enough.



Post-game press conference LeBron and Wade were asked if they choked, and they both refused to admit it! Neither one just said, “Yes. We did.”

And it’s so easy to do!

I think that’s what kills people.

How hard is it to say you sucked and you need to improve? But with James, it’s like asking him to solve a calculus proof.

There’s a frustration in seeing someone so talented and so fun to watch when he’s on fail to grasp basic concepts.

maxim: Yeah. I wish he’d just shut the hell up. What Cuban did? LeBron should do that. He should not talk to the media, not Tweet, just work hard and at least feign humility.

Did you hear the comments he made about how fans who hate him “have to wake up and still live their same lives tomorrow” or whatever? He was basically like, “I don’t care because their lives suck and I’m a millionaire superstar.” Hey LeBron, Screw you.

I like my one bedroom apartment and who cares that I had to kill a roach with a shoe two nights ago?

bigdaddydrew: Yeah, it’s a hollow comment.

It’s easy to see through.

And it again absolves him of any wrongdoing.

I wrote this before, but I know someone who knows Maverick Carter, and the basic mentality is that anyone who criticizes Bron is “just a hater.”

Nothing they say could be valid because they’re just jealous and petty.

And it’s not like you can’t hate LeBron and still be a happy person.

It’s not like everyone who wishes him ill is some misanthrope.

People hate him because he’s an ass.

maxim: I feel guilty that we haven’t talked about Dallas. It’s not just that the Heat choked—the Mavs did everything they needed to do. And Dirk even sucked last night, till the fourth quarter, and the rest of that team picked it up.

As a former sorta Nets fan (NJ native), I’m happy for JKidd.

bigdaddydrew: Eh, fuck Kidd.

I just liked watching Dallas play basketball.

Like, when they passed the ball, it actually made sense.

They didn’t pass the ball and then have the recipient pass the ball right back to the original passer who’s still covered.

And Jason Terry is a fucking killer.

Really, truly fun to see a player go off like that.

maxim: Love that dude. The Urkel of the NBA.

Do you think Spoelstra will be fired?

bigdaddydrew: He’ll be demoted.

I think the Heat love him, and I think Pat Riley has had enough of watching from the stands while they stand around playing Hot Potato.

maxim: We’ll see.

In the meantime, we’re just left with baseball for a few monthszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

bigdaddydrew: Pretty brutal.

And all these players will be locked out.

So we’ll have two lockouts going on at once.

And Tiger isn’t good anymore.

We have to come up with something we’re excited about in sports.

bigdaddydrew: No worries. Someone will fuck up during the summer and we’ll have something to yap about. I guarantee it.

maxim: Well I hope they do it by next Monday!