This Insane Table Tennis Rally Makes the U.S. Open Look Like Child’s Play

Forrest Gump doesn’t have shit on these two champions.

While the rest of the Western world was collectively pissing themselves over Serena Williams’ surprise defeat at the U.S. Open, table tennis pros Xin Xu and Zhu Linfeng were locked in a death match at the Chine Super League — a death match that culminated in a 42-shot rally.

This is a goddamn beautiful exhibition of athletic prowess, and I am literally sitting here shaking my hands in the air and yelling “oh shit!” “oh shit!” into my empty apartment. I am sure my neighbors think I’m insane, but I don’t care because I would love to see Serena Williams pull this shit off on her best day.

If you’re laughing at my enthusiasms for bonkers table tennis skills, stuff it. Table tennis follows the centuries-old process of making bourgeoisie racket games accessible to everyone from the connoisseur to the that guy from your office who always plays better after he’s had a few cocktails. But to be good at table tennis, to be truly good, is no laughing matter.  Just ask Forrest Gump.