Three-Way Push-Ups

The San Quentin Inmate’s Guide to Buffing Up.

The San Quentin Inmate’s Guide to Buffing Up.


One set of all three to your max.

Close Hands

1. Perform as many push-ups with your hands together as you can manage. This exercise will hit your entire triceps. The floor will likely hit your entire face.

Neutral Hands

2. When your form starts to unravel, space your hands about shoulder width apart. You’ll find you can blast

a few more reps—to the extreme!

Kneeling Push-ups

3. If you’ve got the stones, immedi-ately repeat both but on your knees. Alligator-man,

you so naughty!

One set to your max.

Close-Curl Grip

1. Perform as many curl-grip pull-ups as you can with your hands close together. This isolates your biceps. Feel the bulge! (Wrong bulge, buddy.)

Neutral Overhand Grip

2. When you can’t do any more clean reps, immediately continue doing pull-ups with an overhand grip. This will recruit help from your back and forearms. And from the other patrons of the gym who see that you’re stroking out on the floor.


Two sets of 8–10 reps

Lie in a push-up position, but with your forearms flat on the ground. Pressing through your palms, forcefully—that’s forcefully like a 19th-century man telling his wife to stay in the wagon, Mary, I mean it— thrust one arm straight at a time. Smoothly lower back to the start position and repeat. You’re done! By which we mean unconscious!