Throwback Thursday: April 2004 – Marge Simpson

Check out what we were up to in April of ’04. Don’t worry, we’ll leave out our middle school class picture.

Every week, we send someone stumbling into the dark Maxim archives to see what we were up to way back when. This week we’re going back to April of 2004, when Marge Simpson was the hottest animated woman around, we tormented President George W. Bush, and Paris Hilton was our favorite heiress.

Cover Girl: Marge Simpson

Where You’ve Seen Her: The blue-haired wife of iconic dumb-dumb Homer Simpson, Marge Simpson stole the spotlight from the d’oh-eyed fool when she posed for Maxim in 2004, proving that she was the hottest Springfield resident around. After maintaining her MILF status for a solid 15 years, in this issue we finally learned the secret to that slammin’ cartoon bod: “When you’re married to Homer, there’s not a lot of excess food. The kids and I fight for the scraps.” People, take note.

Where She Is Now: Ten years later, Marge continues to dazzle audiences worldwide; not only is she still ripping it on TV, she continues to make us laugh, gawk, and muse over how her hair stands up on its own. Swoon


Everybody Loves Bush

Star of countless SNL skits and public flubs heard around the world, George W. Bush was one of the most easy-to-riff-on presidents we’ve ever had. Now out of office for nearly five years, the ex-commander-in-chief has managed to keep a relatively low profile – or at least he had, until his personal email was hacked last year and his bizarre paintings were revealed on The Smoking Gun. Sure, it was a bit humiliating, but we know from experience that things could’ve been way worse

Hotel Sweet

Hotel heiress Paris Hilton initially entered our lives as a frequent target of the paparazzi, but it was her night-visioned sex tape with Pam Anderson’s current husband Rick Salomon that made her an international celebrity. Since then, she’s dabbled in fashion, acting, and modeling (like her equally sexy sister Nicky), and most recently refocused her attention on the music industry. Whatever she’s doing, one thing’s for sure: we’ll take Paris however we can get her. 

More Throwback Thursdays on

Throwback Thursday: January 2005 – Eva Longoria 

Throwback Thursday: March 2000 – Jenny McCarthy