This week, get double vision on Chelsea Lately, find out once and for all why sex is fun with Maggie Gyllenhaal (well, not technically with her), and experience schadenfreude as you watch youths squirm when they play baseball and go to prison. Adulthood rules!
Monday, August 15
11:00 p.m. Chelsea Lately (E!)
Don't worry Chris Rock, sometimes we get Chelsea Handler and Elizabeth Banks mixed up, too. Luckily, the funny, sexy doppelgangers will meet face-to-face as Banks swings by Handler's late night talk show, presumably to figure out which one of them is which or to finally announce that they are joining forces to make one super attractive, talented entity. Until the episode airs, you can brush up on both women (figuratively, guys, figuratively) by watching Handler's hilarious cameos on 30 Rock and read all of Banks' laugh-out-loud best-sellers. Wait...ah, dammit!
Tuesday, August 16
9:00 p.m. Memphis Beat(TNT)
During the second season ender of the dramedy, Dwight (Jason Lee) has a tough time at work when his co-workers give him flak about his new girlfriend. Suck it up, dude! This is hardly the worst thing to happen to you in a fictitious relationship (remember what Shannen Doherty did with Ben Affleck in Mallrats?) And quit giving him a hard time, Memphis Beat co-workers, you should just be grateful he's not bringing those damned chipmunks around.
Thursday, August 18
9:00 p.m. 2011 Do Something Awards (VH1)
This awards show not only negates everything we believe in (that doing something helpful for others actually pays off) and everything that awards shows are about at the core (rewarding people for doing things that benefits themselves) but guests at this year's event include the likes of Olivia Munn and Kristen Bell. So maybe our generous spirit will allow us to flip by this VH1 special, which is hosted by Jane Lynch (who's pulling double duty this year, as she's also emceeing the Emmys next month) between this and the football game. Because we care.
10:00 p.m. Beyond Scared Straight (A&E)
This endlessly fascinating series, which sends a group of punk kids to the clink for a day to get schooled by hard-ass incarcerated criminals on what life is really like in the joint, is back for a second season. In the 90-minute premiere, a group of at-risk teens get the bejeezus scared beyond out of them when they visit a prison in Mecklenberg County, NC and experience, firsthand, just how freakin' awful jail is. Of course, if that doesn't work, they could just sit the little troublemakers down and make them watch Ozfrom beginning to end. If that doesn't turn you into an upstanding citizen hell bent on not getting prison raped, nothing will.
Saturday, August 20
8:00 p.m. Little League World Series - U.S. Pool Elimination Game (ESPN)
Japan may have captured last year's Little League World Series title, but if movies have taught us anything--and God knows they've taught us everything--it's that a band of rag tag American kiddos can come back and reclaim all the glory. Tonight's decisive game, which takes place in Williamsport, PA, will eliminate one of the teams in the U.S. pool, while another moves on to the next round of the 65th Little League World Series. In addition to shame and taunting, the losing team will also be sent to the next episode of Beyond Scared Straight (see above). That'll teach them to disappoint their parents and America!
Sunday, August 21
8:00 Curiosity (Discovery)
"Why Is Sex Fun?" That's the obviously rhetorical question asked by this new investigative series on the Discovery channel. We can probably give about a million responses to that query, but the show will get all scientific on us as it explores why women have orgasms. Hey, we'll watch any show that delves deeper into one of Maxim's all-time favorite subjects (beat it, math!), asks questions that we can actually answer (beat it, Jeopardy!) and one that's hosted by Maggie Gyllenhaal (beat it, Trebek!)
10:00 p.m. Vegas Strip (TRUtv)
Now that you've had sufficient crime and sex education this week, un-learn all of it by watching lowlifes get arrested in Vegas. In fact, here's another easy question for you to answer tonight: What happens when you mix gamblers, drunks, party animals, prostitutes and cops on Las Vegas Boulevard? A shit-show spectacle filmed entirely for our entertainment, of course.