This week, Anthony Bourdain rocks out in the desert with the Queens of the Stone Age, Wrestlemania once again rocks our world and, if Jon Benjamin's van is a knockin'...a courtesy knock might be a good idea. Rock on, television watchers!
Monday, Aug 8
9:00 p.m. Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations(Travel)
While Aubrey Lynn, one of Maxim's Bikini Babes of Spring Break already cracked the code on the most winning of combinations (Alcohol+ girls= :) Science!), it's Anthony Bourdain who definitely knows how to pair two of the other greatest things in the world: Food and rock n' roll. So it only makes sense that the "No Reservations" host has matched himself up with Queens of the Stone Age front man Josh Homme for an episode. Together the two will explore the High Desert of California for some unconventional grub, though we can only presume accidentally, as they may have also just read that as "High Dessert."
Tuesday, Aug 9
9:00 p.m. Auction Kings(Discovery)
If you fancy yourself the Auction King (What? eBay counts!) you'd better step aside for Gallery 63 owner Paul Brown and his crew, for they are the best at...uh, selling stuff and naming prices really fast. It takes skill, people! That said, if you can get over the fact that you had to hand over your crown--which, ironically enough, was purchased on eBay--to them, then you should tune in for tonight's back-to-back episodes in which the "Kings" crew auction off awesome artifacts like a World War II Harley Davidson motorcycle, a piano from the Prohibition era, and a motherfucking DeLorean (flux capacitor not included). As far as we're concerned, the lowest bid on that last one should be nothing less than infinity.
11:00 p.m. Awkward.(MTV)
It was awkward enough having to explain (that Chris Hansen asks too many damned questions) why we're watching a show at 11 o'clock at night on MTV that features a 19-year-old (impressive lead actress Ashley Rickards) but now tonight's new installment features one of the characters getting pink eye from a hot tub incident. Depending on who they got it from, "awkward" doesn't even begin to cover it.
Wednesday, Aug 10
10:30 p.m. Jon Benjamin Has A Van (Comedy Central)
Apparently, he has a television show, too! In fact, it's been on for an entire season. But, sadly for JB, his "Van" is out of gas tonight as the series hits the brakes for its first season finale. It's bad, really, because we had a shitload more vehicle puns we were dying to take out for a spin. Nevertheless, the last new episode of the year finds Jon getting the scoop on a religious group that believed Jesus smoked a pipe (wait, there's people that don't believe that?) and interviews a cult leader (played by Bob Odenkirk) about his predictions on the impending Armageddon.
Thursday, Aug 11
12:00 a.m. Lopez Tonight(TBS)
If we're tuning in for "Lopez Tonight", it means that one of the following things has happened: We've lost our remote control and the TV is permanently stuck on TBS (Also file under: Excuse for why we're watching Mean Girls yet again), we weren't quite ready to drift off into a blissful post-Coco slumber, or there's incredibly hot guests on that night. In this case, it's most definitely the latter as Jessica Alba is stopping by to plug her new flick and Ellie Goulding is also in the house to sing some of her hit songs.
Friday, Aug 12
10:00 p.m. Strike Back (Cinemax)
Cinemax is taking a swing at prime-time scripted dramas (though we found their late night fare like Sin City Diaries and Lingerie to be pretty darn captivating) with its new original program, "Strike Back." The series, which originated last year in the U.K and will now get all American up in ya for 10 episodes, centers around a U.S. Special Forces operative (Sullivan Stapleton) and a British military officer (Philip Winchester of Fringe) who have teamed up to take down an international terrorist. If the show's relentless popcorn flick-like action weren't enough to get you to tune in, its band of attractive lady crime fighters, including Eva Birthistle, ought to do it. Now, there's the Cinemax we know and love.
Saturday, Aug 13
9:00 p.m. Wrestlemania (NBC)
"It's WRESSSSSSSTLEMAAAANIAAAAAAAAAA!" While the 27th Annual Wrestlemania, which was hosted by former wrestling super star Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, already happened, you can still re-live all the technically-fake-but-still-leaves-a-mark glory tonight. Highlights from the event, which took place back in April, included the Undertaker vs. Triple H and John Cena battling the Miz (yep, that Miz from The Real World.) Of course, he was hardly the main MTV reality star crossover attraction, as Jersey Shore midget 'Snooki' competed in a six-person tag team match. Outstanding. And, despite this being pre-recorded, here's to hoping they at least pay homage/snap into a Slim Jim for the late, great Wrestlemania legend Randy "Macho Man" Savage.