Once upon a time, there was a week of television that included a new series about fairy tales, a talk show with Coldplay as musical guests, and re-living the wrath of Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction. But don't worry, fellas, there's a happy ending...and it involves the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders!
Tuesday, Oct. 18
8:00 p.m. Inside Story: Fatal Attraction(Bio)
It's the movie that has made dudes keep it in their pants since 1987, if not only for the sake of their girlfriends and wives, but to extend the lives of pet rabbits everywhere. This retrospective look at the sexy thriller classic Fatal Attractionincludes interviews with director Adrian Lyne (who made affairs seem like a terrible idea again in Unfaithful) as well as cast members Michael Douglas and Glenn Close, who immortalized the role of the absolute worst-case-scenario girlfriend. By all means, we should shun the movie that forever made guys think twice, but this special is not going to be ignored, so we will oblige.
9:00 p.m. Scream Awards 2011 (Spike TV)
If Fatal Attraction were made today, it would more than likely be up for a Scream Award. But since there's no space-time continuum for movies...yet...only recent flicks--and television shows--will be honored for being the best in horror, fantasy and sci-fi. In addition to a tribute to the Harry Potter flicks (which racked up multiple nominations, including one for a very deserving Emma Watson for Best Fantasy Actress), other notable categories for 6th Annual Scream Awards include Holy Shit Scene Of The Year (our money is on the train crash sequence in Super 8, Most Memorable Mutilation (our hearts say Jerry O'Connell's dick getting bitten off and vomited up in Piranha 3D, but our loins cry out for Natalie Portman in Black Swan) and The Ultimate Scream (The Waaaaaaaalking Deeeeeaaaaaaad!)
Wednesday, Oct. 19
7:30 p.m. MLB World Series (Fox)
Game 1 of the 2011 World Series kicks off tonight and if it's anything like post-season you can expect, well, a hell of a lot of grand slams and rain delays. As we write this, the St. Louis Cardinals are taking on the Milwaukee Brewers and the Texas Rangers are battling the Detroit Tigers, so we're not sure which of the four teams will be facing off for the title of World Series champs. If you do, however, we want to know who wins and how the hell you found the Gray's Sports Almanac that goes past 2000. Marty McFly didn't even have that!
11:30 p.m. The Colbert Report (Comedy Central)
Though the guys from The 40 Year Old Virginmight call us out for watching this, we're still going to be tuning in to see Coldplay stopping by The Colbert Report. No matter what your feelings are on Chris Martin and co., you've gotta admit, between LCD Soundsystem's sign-off and Radiohead's re-emergence, The Colbert Report (sponsored by Dr. Pepper!) has quickly become the coolest talk show for musicians to visit.
Thursday, Oct. 20
10:00 p.m. Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team (CMT)
Now entering its third season, this groundbreaking series chronicles the plight of women trying to achieve a sought-out spot in one of the most iconic American institutions ever. Well, not exactly. Actually, it's just a reality show about really good-looking ladies dancing around in skimpy outfits and trying out for a high-profile position as a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. Give me a "Yes, please!"
Sunday, Oct. 23
8:00 p.m. Once Upon A Time (ABC)
It's pretty much becoming a standard rule of thumb that if you're going to make something about fairy tale characters living in the modern world, you'd better cast some pretty hot actresses to make it tolerable. They did that with Amy Adams in the 2007 flick Enchanted and they're doing it now with Jennifer Morrison and Ginnifer Goodwin) for the new fantasy series Once Upon A Time. This time around, however, the iconic characters like Snow White and Rumpelstiltskin are living in 2011 and completely unaware that they are from famous fables. Hokey? Sure. But like we said, there's some pretty leading ladies and its from the folks who made Lostso it might – might – be more than just a shoddy rip-off of Fables.
11:30 p.m. Robot Chicken (Adult Swim)
The stop-motion animation series Robot Chicken, which is equal parts awesome and absurd, kicks off its fifth season tonight with an episode that features a magical zebra, potato chip cops, and the Green Lantern (no, don't worry, not this one.) Did we mention that it’s also a show for stoners? Of course, if the description of the premiere episode didn't give that away you're probably already baked and wondering where the magical zebras and potato chip cops are. Pssst, they're on your TV, man.