Trailer Breakdown: “A Million Ways To Die In The West”

Seth MacFarlane’s live-action debut just got its first trailer. Let’s take a look.

It’s odd to think that, despite his success with Family Guy, American Dad, and Ted – as well as his gig hosting the Oscars last year – Seth MacFarlane has never actually appeared in person as the star of a movie. That’s about to change with A Million Ways To Die In The West (out May 30), whose trailer just hit the Internet. Let’s see what we can glean about the movie…

SHOT 1

We open on a shot of Arizona in 1882 – a time of ignorance, prejudice, and intolerance. Not as bad as it is now, obviously, but still pretty bad.

SHOT 2

Seth McFarlane and Giovanni Ribisi watch some dudes deliver an immense block of ice. Which is nice and all, but with the movie’s title, we really thought we’d see someone get killed by –

SHOT 3

OK, never mind.

SHOT 4

 “Everything out here that’s not you wants to kill you,” warns MacFarlane’s sheep farmer, Albert. “Angry drunk people. Hungry animals. Outlaws.” We’re not certain, but we’re pretty sure he’s talking about taking New Jersey transit after 11PM on a Friday.

SHOT 5

It’s good to see a movie living up to its title. This trailer is 39 seconds in and there’s already been more onscreen kills than RoboCop.

SHOT 6

If the contents of the “exotic wonders” tent don’t kill at least ten people in this movie, we will be absolutely amazed. And extremely disappointed.

SHOT 7

Now we’re talking! Liam Neeson plays the movie’s dreaded outlaw. It’ll be interesting to see if his “very particular set of skills” extends to comedy.

SHOT 8

Charlize Theron plays both Albert’s love interest and his shooting instructor, so expect somewhere around 400 gun-as-penis jokes.

SHOT 9

Amanda Seyfried shows up as Albert’s ex, and Neil Patrick Harris as her new man. They are shown here doing a perfect impersonation of anybody who has ever walked into the Maxim bathroom to encounter editor Dan Bova shaving his back.

SHOT 10

A brothel-working Sarah Silverman demonstrates why it’s so hard to jerk a guy off while tapping cigar ash on his balls at the same time. We’re fully expecting this scene to end with Peter Griffin suddenly popping into shot to exclaim, “You t’ink that’s baaad..? Remember that time I [something something ’80s reference]”

SHOT 11

This shot from the scene in which Albert drinks peyote is guaranteed to become a meme. But the real question is, can it ever live up to the peyote scene in Young Guns? No. The answer is clearly no. Sorry, by the way – the whole ’80s reference thing is kinda contagious.

SHOT 12

It’s…a balloon! There does seem to be a lot of action in this trailer, including a couple explosions and a horse chase in front of a speeding train. One thing we can confidently predict without seeing this movie is that it will definitely, one hundred, million percent definitely be better than the Old West awfulness that was The Lone Ranger.

SHOT 13

Aaand this is going to be the Internet’s favorite gif by the end of the week. Fact.

SHOT 14

So there you have it – a full on, balls-to-the-wall comedy with a killer cast. It doesn’t look subtle, but then, would you ever expect the man who sung the “We Saw Your Boobs” song at the Oscars to be subtle?