US Unveils Olympic Hockey Jerseys to Canadian Laughter

And they fall way short of the podium.

Photo Courtesy of Nike, Inc.

After snatching victory from the American hockey team in the last go-around, our neighbors to the North have landed the first blow of this Olympic season, and they didn’t even have to do anything. The US unveiled its new Olympic hockey jerseys, and they are, well, special. The new crest that sits on the chest is actually pretty snazzy, along with the red and white sleeve stripes. However, this jersey tanks when you notice that it’s bedazzled with shiny stars all across the shoulders, reminiscent of another icy Olympic sport.

On top of that, the laces on the neck are the same shiny iron-on material as the stars, making the sweater even more costume-y and odd – there is no apparent reason for this. Shoelaces are literally $2.50 – we’ll literally buy them for the whole team ourselves if that will help. So while Canada sits back and chuckles at our apparel (and Patrick Kane’s affinity for it), all we can do is train and wait. And hope that Sidney Crosby breaks his arm

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