The Washington Redskins Compared Their Name to ‘Party With Sluts’ and ‘Crippled Old Biker Bastard’

They said it, not us. 

The Washington Redskins are appealing a federal judge’s cancelation of the team’s controversial and allegedly offensive trademark with a strange argument that equates its name with some weird-ass porn and clothing companies, among others.

In a brief filed Friday, a lawyer for the team argued that cancelling the Redskins’ trademark for disparaging Native Americans hypocritical given the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office’s approval of some other less than family-friendly company names. Among them: 

  • The clothing brands Party With Sluts. Crippled Old Biker Bastards, and Dirty Whore Clothing Company.
  • Entertainment company Consider Laughing My Vagina Off
  • Big Titty Blend Coffee 
  • Cracka Azz Skateboards
  • Edible Crotchless Gummy Panties
  • Capitalism Sucks Donkey Balls
  • Thug Porn

All of these are registered trademarks that, unlike the Redskins, the Patent office is cool with, according to the brief (which is hilarious and needs to be read in full). Let’s not forget Dick Balls Gear, too.

DICK BALLS GEAR finds its way onto the bodies of these beauties.

Posted by DICK BALLS GEAR on Saturday, March 8, 2014

The team is not arguing that the named businesses above should loss their trademark, but that if they can maintain trademark protection in the government’s eyes, then the Redskins should as well. “We believe that the government’s action tramples core principles of free speech and sets a dangerous precedent for other brands,” a spokesman for the Redskins’ legal team said in a statement. 

In other words, the Washington Redskins name is the same as the Dirty Whooore Clothing Company. Both are stupid and some might find them offensive, but dammit, this is America, where companies are allowed to be as stupid and offensive as they want. We can’t wait to see how this plays out in court.

Photos by Molly Riley / Getty Images