There's a lot of TV options to choose from. Too much for any one person to completely monitor, but that doesn't mean we're not going to do our best to sift through all the listings and figure out what you should be watching every week...with all the highlights, lowlights and guilty pleasures you can stand.
Tuesday, Jan. 11th
10:00 a.m.-11:00 p.m The Green Hornet Marathon (Syfy)
Huge props to Syfy for picking up the original '60s Green Hornet series in time for the new movie (which, thematically at least, should be radically different). Most people don't care about the character nearly as much as they should (or know anything about him), so the network's running an all-day marathon on Tuesday to prime the pump. The fisticuffs weren't nearly as campy as what was found on the Batman TV show, and it's always a blast to see a young Bruce Lee as Kato before he starred in Fists of Fury.
Also on Tuesday
9:00 p.m. Dirty Jobs (Discovery)
Who doesn't enjoy a good rum and Coke? Well, Dirty Jobs host Mike Rowe might not enjoy it quite as much after this week's episode, in which he gets an inside look at how the delicious sugarcane liquor is created. (Picture above is unrelated, obviously. Unless lampreys are used to make rum, and Rowe's morphed into a crack investigative reporter.) Being filthy and working with alcohol seems to go hand in hand, doesn't it? Sit back and enjoy with a nice Cubano!
Also ALSO on Tuesday
11:35 p.m. Late Show with David Letterman (CBS)
Did you know that The Dilemma, the Vince Vaughn/Kevin James flick, was directed by Ron Howard? That gets us moderately interested in what would normally be considered another lame “LOLZ, grown men are acting like adolescents!” comedy. Letterman welcomes Vaughn as a guest Wednesday, so maybe one or both of them can make a case for why you should be willing to spend $11 on this thing. Even if that's a bust, kick-ass rock band Cage the Elephant will be performing in support of their latest record, Thank You, Happy Birthday, which drops this week.
Friday, Jan. 14th
9:00 p.m. The Ricky Gervais Show (HBO)
HBO's animated version of Ricky Gervais' chats with pals Stephen Merchant and Carl Pilkington returns with Pilkington's thoughts on camping, his in-laws and an idea for a Rebecca De Mornay thriller he wants to pitch to Hollywood. (She's long overdue for a comeback.) You'll never see a more clueless yet enthusiastic person on TV. Apologies to Michael Scott.
Sunday, Jan. 16th
10:00 p.m. Denis Leary & Friends: Douchebags & Donuts (Comedy Central)
Love or hate Denis Leary, you've got to respect how he helps his friends and fellow comedians out, especially when it comes to doling out guest spots on his FX show Rescue Me. Now he's returning to his standup roots and getting his pals together to share the spotlight. The gig includes performances by Whitney Cummings, Lenny Clarke and Adam Ferrara. Not sure who's bringing the donuts, though.
THE SILVER LINING
Monday, Jan. 10th
9:00 p.m. You're Cut Off! (VH1)
The irony of one of the more vapid networks on television showing spoiled kids getting cut off from their rich and enabling parents for a short period of time has not escaped us. (Especially since these kids are getting paid to be on the show.) But that doesn't mean we won't be tuning in to watch said brats get even the smallest taste of real life.
Wednesday, Jan. 12th
10:00 p.m. Off the Map (ABC)
ABC just won't quit with their never-ending rollout of overly wrought dramas based in various locales. Grey's Anatomy kicked things off, but the network has tried the same thing with lawyer shows and have now gone BACK to doctors with Off the Map. But this time THEY'RE IN THE JUNGLE! It looks like a super-shitty version of Lost, and unless there's a ridiculous number of beautiful women on the show, we will be completely avoiding this one. (Judging from the pic above, there's a GOOD number, but not a ridiculous number.)