We Like to Watch: Jan. 24th-30th, 2011
Behind the Vacation scenes, and a long-awaited Tiffany/Debbie Gibson catfight.
There’s a lot of TV options to choose from. Too much for any one person to completely monitor, but that doesn’t mean we’re not going to do our best to sift through all the listings and figure out what you should be watching every week…with all the highlights, lowlights and guilty pleasures you can stand.
Tuesday, Jan. 25th
8:00 p.m. Inside Story: National Lampoon’s Vacation (Bio)
The Biography Channel wipes the grime off their magnifying glass for a closer inspection of one of the true classic comedies of the ’80s. Hopefully they have some vintage, unseen footage of the ridiculously hot mom played by Beverly D’Angelo…and some outtakes featuring John Candy and unheralded comic genius Randy Quaid. (We’re serious about that last part.)
Also on Tuesday
11:35 p.m. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (NBC)
It’s rare that you’ll find us giving two shits about the goings-on over at the homogenized Tonight Show, but Tuesday’s episode at least offers professional asskicker Jason Statham and a performance by British rockers White Lies. Statham should have plenty of icy glares to shoot Leno’s way in between anecdotes about the making of The Mechanic—a remake of the Charles Bronson classic—opening this Friday.
Wednesday, Jan. 26th
10:00 p.m. Face Off (Syfy)
Forget the cool but absolutely ridiculous Nic Cage/John Travolta flick of the same name; Syfy’s version is a special-effects makeup competition to discover the best up-and-coming movie makeup artist. This isn’t throwing blush and lipstick on some starlet; we’re talking creating human-animal hybrids, the challenge on the first episode. We’re in for now, but if it gets too much into manufactured Bravo drama territory, time to bounce.
Thursday, Jan. 27th
10:00 p.m. Archer (FX)
The second season of the animated action/comedy/spy spoof returns this week with an installment that features the gang from ISIS trying to protect a billionaire’s daughter while hanging out at a ski resort. Of course, this being Archer, the girl wants to jump the secret agent’s bones. Hilarity and oddly arousing animated cleavage will likely ensue.
Saturday, Jan. 29th
9:00 p.m. Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (Syfy)
Forget about the city block-busting battle between a giant snake and a mutated alligator that’s suffering from ’roid rage (truth!); the real main event when it comes to this Syfy schlockfest is a catfight between ’80s teen queens Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. Syfy released a teaser clip of said catfight a whopping six months ago, so we assume they’ve been tweaking the monsters’ special effects since then. Or pleasuring themselves to “Electric Youth”/”I Think We’re Alone Now” mashups, perhaps.
THE SILVER LINING
Wednesday, Jan. 26th
9:00 p.m. My Strange Addiction (TLC)
Like roughly half of TLC’s programming, My Strange Addiction makes you feel uncomfortable while exploiting people who need professional help. This week’s episode features a guy who claims he’s married to a doll (above) and a woman who picks scabs for hours a day. Any time you think your life’s not going anywhere, or are feeling generally down, just remember these folks and realize you don’t have it quite so bad. (To his credit, Doll Man seems pretty happy.)
TERRIFY YOUR CHILDREN
Thursday, Jan. 27th
10:00 p.m. Beyond Scared Straight (A&E)
Think your kid might be heading down the wrong track by cheating on homework or cooking up meth in the basement? Well, plop them in front of A&E’s revival of the late-’70s documentary series that scared the shit out of you as a kid with its uncensored tales of real criminal life…and its consequences. Great “fun” for the whole family, especially the family looking to keep little Johnny and Suzy on the straight and narrow.