This Week in Gaming: “The Elder Scrolls Online” & More

Get the scoop on all the best video game releases for the week of March 31.

MLB 14: The Show

Platforms: PS3, PSVita (PS4 version coming in May)

We actually took a look at both the PS3 and PS4 versions of this game, and the PS4 looked outstanding, but it’s not coming out until May 6th for some ungodly reason, and that’s a major disappointment in our books. That said, The Show is literally the only show in town this year when it comes to MLB video games, with 2K taking a break from their annual offering. We don’t mind; MLB 14: The Show is easily the better of the two, and Sony continues to refine its winning baseball formula. This year, the same great gameplay comes back with a few notable additions. First, we’re excited to see Sony giving us the chance to bring over our stats and saves from last year’s edition. There’s also a new mode that lets you play games quicker by putting you in the midst of a situation and letting you see it through (not that we minded spending an hour playing a single game, but it’s a nice option to have). Finally, and perhaps most exciting, there’s a situational creation tool that lets gamers recreate epic moments in baseball history and challenge other players to accomplish them. We’re not stopping until we manage a walk-off homer in the 11th inning of Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS. Aaron Boone ain’t got nothing on us.

The Elder Scrolls Online

Platforms: PC, OSX

Sick of playing Skyrim after two years? No, we didn’t think so. But that shouldn’t stop you from being stoked about TheElder Scrolls Online, a massive online world that incorporates all the lands of Skyrim, Morrowind, Daggerfall, and more. RPGs don’t get much more addictive than this and ESO’s megaserver means that everyone is connected to the same world, so you can fight everyone and explore everything with any friend or guild you’ve ever encountered in the game. It’s one hell of an undertaking that finally delivers the unified experience that Elder Scrolls fans have longed for from the fantasy franchise. FYI: the first 30 days are included with purchase but a monthly subscription is required for you to get your ongoing fix. They don’t call TheElder Scrolls fantasy crack for nothing.*

*Feel free to call the Elder Scrolls “fantasy crack” – they really like it when you do that.

Goat Simulator

Platforms: PC via Steam

Whenever a game sets its launch date for April Fool’s Day, we have to be skeptical of its authenticity. When that game is called Goat Simulator and its gameplay is entirely about being a goat, we have an especially hard time believing it’s real. Yet, here we are, playing a game where the sole purpose is to be a goat and destroy everything. If the lunacy of the Internet could ever be boiled down to a single game, Goat Simulator would be it. The madcap game doesn’t just let you be a goat, it offers you a destructible world, where you can grab things by licking them (like axes!), jump on trampolines, and generally exist as a goat. There’s a reason goats are called “Nature’s President.” We have no idea what that reason is, but who really cares? Also, the developers decided that, in true goat form, they wouldn’t fix bugs in the game except ones that cause fatal crashes. So prepare to glitch out as physics take a turn for the worst and your goat goes flying sky-high for no goddamn reason at all. Expect to see lots of highlight reel footage hitting YouTube in T-minus right-fucking-now. We’re not sure how to win Goat Simulator, but simply knowing this game exists feels like a win for humankind – and isn’t that what video games are all about?

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