This Week in Weird Sports: Beach Hockey

“The Driest Game On Earth!”

“The Driest Game On Earth!”

Beach Hockey was invented by a dozen Canadian college kids spending spring break intoxicated on an exotic lake in Manitoba. 

It shouldn’t be confused with Pro Beach (roller) Hockey, a failed attempt at originality by ESPN in the late-1990’s

The concept is simple. In place of a puck, there is an leather-bound playground ball. In place of ice, there is choppy, uneven and possibly vomited on beach sand. There are four players plus a goalie to each side. Points can be scored of all distances and positions. The goalkeeper may stop the ball with both hand and feet. The ball can be played above the shoulders (when making a save). Rehydrate on beer instead of water and spend most of the game screaming random lines of dialouge from Slap Shot and Degrassi.

According to the website of the European Beach Hockey Tour tournaments were going to be staged in Belgium, Germany, Spain and in The Netherlands in September of 2010, but that was the last time their website was updated. 

It’s also a good way for guys without beach-ready bodies to draw attention to their selves and look douchey while catching a tan.