This Week in Weird Sports: The Warrior Dash

Who doesn’t love obstacle courses and humiliation?

Who doesn’t love obstacle courses and humiliation?

“Yay! We have significant father issues!”

Have you ever wanted to go through the whole of army basic training, but all at once, without having to worry about eventually getting your butt shot off, but with the added danger of stuff being on fire? You have? Then you have some very specific wants, friend-o! Also: The Warrior Dash is very much your cup of crazy berry-infused tea.

“We crave attention due to years of painful social isolation!”

Combining the aforementioned fire with water and climbing obstacles, plus a 5K race, the Dash is among other contests like Tough Mudder that have sprung up in recent years. Why our society feels compelled to combine early `90’s Nickelodeon programming and the New York Marathon, we have no fucking clue—but this shit is getting popular fast!

“We drink to celebrate our victory and hide the scars of childhood!”

The next dash is in New York August 13 and 14, so sign your life and limbs away today!