Who Is Joseph Gordon-Levitt Playing in The Dark Knight Rises?

He’s got more screen time in the new trailer than Batman! Who is this guy?

He’s got more screen time in the new trailer than Batman! Who is this guy?

Batman and rumors go together like peanut butter and rat traps, and we just love to speculate on what will pop in Christopher Nolan’s latest Batman movie. If you haven’t seen the new trailer, you suck at life. Watch it now!

So the real question is: Who is Joseph Gordon-Levitt?! Which character will he play?

We have some ideas.

1. He’s playing himself. This movie will have dozens of hilarious cameos because when a famous person shows up, it’s funnier than a well-written joke! (e.g. The Three Stooges, Austin Powers, SNL.)  Perhaps Batman will see him and say, “Hey Joe! More like Third Rock from the Fun…am I right?” And Gordon-Levitt will wink while Charlie Sheen rides by on a moped.

2. He’s the new Batman after the first Batman is crushed by Bane. (This is why Batman looks kind of skinny in some of the shots.)  

3. He’s the Riddler. Or is he?!?!?!?!  (Hint: He isn’t.) [Spoiler Alert: He is.]

4. He’s just a cop trying to make sense of this crazy world called Gotham.

5. He’s playing a new version of Robin. (Please don’t make this come true. Please.)

6. He’s Cobra Commander.

7. He’s a new villain named One-Face.

8. He’s the Penguin sidekick – The Pen-Pal! (DC comics, we just invented this character and will sell the idea to for you $76. The character wears hats.)

9. He’s a ghost.

10. He’s a dream within a dream, within a ghost.

11. He’s Batman’s heretofore unmentioned kid brother Leroy, and Leroy loves snacks! That’s his thing. These movies need some levity (or Levitt-y) and a snack munching little brother is a golden idea! He also hates homework and chores.

12. He’s Mr. Freeze’s sidekick, Chilly Willy.

13. He’s some sort of robot or maybe a human-looking insect.

14. He plays Larry King.

15. He’s Superman.