Genius Products: The UpRight Sleeper

Good god, we need this thing immediately.

Good god, we need this thing immediately.

Say hello to something called the UpRight Sleeper—a glorified neck brace designed to keep your head still so you can sleep while sitting or standing. We’re not going to say this is the most important invention of the 21st century, but let’s be honest: it probably is.

A recent recipient of the “Innovation Award” from SkyMall (the world’s most trusted authority on worthless shit), The UpRight Sleeper is guaranteed to be the best $46 you’ve ever spent. That’s because it will help you catch up on Z’s no matter where you are—a plane, a train, an automobile, the Maxim offices—and that’s priceless.

Per the above video, here are some of the best features of the UpRight Sleeper:

—It’s compact! It folds up and fits in a bag no larger than a laptop case from 1987.

—It conforms to every face/head! Got an oversized noggin? No problem.

—It’s subtle! For an additional fee, you can purchase a cover that doubles as a tote bag. You will still appear to have strapped a torture device to your head, but it’ll be swathed in black velvet, which is a lot less sketchy .

Common side effects include: Being mistaken for someone with a serious head injury, or incurring one as a result of how fucking stupid you look wearing this thing in public. But it really doesn’t matter, because while the rest of you are nodding off on the F train like common meth heads, we’ll be napping in style.

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