Gifts to Get Your Girl

Christmas is months away. Valentine’s Day isn’t even on your radar. But what about the small holidays no one cares about? Don’t let another Flag Day go by giftless. Get her these and she’ll be thanking you through New Year’s—of 2023.

Casio Exilim Card EX-S880
Casio’s stylish new digicam with YouTube Capture Mode is super slim and a breeze to use. With 8.1 megapixels, face detection technology, and blur reduction, even the drunkest of girlfriends will be able to capture memories of nights you most certainly have forgotten.

Zero Halliburton’s Polycarbonate Zeroller ($225-$495)
If you’re sick of your girlfriend’s overpacking infringing on your suitcase, buy her a spacious, yet compact, bag of her own. The new dual layer polycarbonate case offers superior strength, and with spring loaded handles and easy maneuverability, she might even carry her own bag.

Mr. Coffee Classic Edition Programmable Coffeemaker ($89.99)
Enjoy the perks of homemade coffee at her place with Mr Coffee’s latest coffee maker. She’ll like its classic retro look and that it comes in a variety of colors. You’ll like those few precious morning moments as she dutifully fills your cup with her hot liquid.

Mimoco USB Flash Drives ($39.95-$109.95)
Nothing says “I love you, now stop saving your crap on my computer” like these adorable Mimoco flash drives. Their memory capacity ranges from 512 MB ($39.95) to 4 gigs ($109.95), but their cute capacity is endless. Check out their dozens of designs at

Oster Electric Wine Opener ($19.99)
Opening a wine bottle is dangerous. Save your girlfriend some trouble with the Oster electric wine opener. It’s rechargeable, has a sleek design, and even a light on top for those late night wine sessions. With one press of a button, the cork is out safely, and you’re free to enjoy the rest of your night.

Sportline HydraCoach and Heart Rate Watch
Looking for a good, subtle motivator to get your girl to the gym? Instead of calling her a fat ass, pick up Sportline’s Heart Rate Watch ($79.99) so she can monitor her EKG, heart rate and mileage. While you’re at it, throw in a HydraCoach ($29.95) so she can track her water intake. If you present them appropriately-and we know you will, you sly dog, you-she’ll loose some weight and you’ll gain some sweaty post-gym sex.

Max Brenner Chocolate
This orgasm-inducing chocolate is, well, delicious. Whether its chocolate-covered caramelized pecans ($10.90), milk chocolate cubes filled with pralines ($5.90) or Belgian waffle bits covered in dark chocolate praline ($10.90), the Bald Man makes some damn good confections. Give her some and then revisit the previous item.

Kyocera Kitchen Tools
Fact: Women love being in the kitchen. Help her cook for you more often by getting her these Kyocera kitchen gadgets. The Ceramic Y Peeler ($11.95) is a durable and ultra-sharp way to get the skin off anything. The Mandoline and Julienne Slicers ($24.95 each) safely slice food without the risk of slicing a finger off as well. All are dishwasher safe and all are guaranteed to make your girlfriend spend more time in her favorite room in the house.

Electra Amsterdam Sport Bike $550
It doesn’t have the fat tires or big suspension of your mountain bike, but this cruiser is designed specifically for getting your lady around town. The top tube is sloped for riding in a skirt and the internal 3-speed drivetrain keeps maintenance to a minimum and maxes out on style.

Thomas Lee Sheets (Queen set: $175)
Sick of getting sheet burn at your girlfriends pad? Give the gift of comfort with Thomas Lee luxury sheets. Their 500-thread count, PerfectCale™ sheets are so comfy, you’ll wonder why you’ve been sleeping (and screwing) on sandpaper for all these years.

Dr. Brandt Skincare ($35-$55)
Want your girlfriend’s skin to look as smooth as that doll you’ve been hiding in the closet? Dr. Brandt’s Poreless® line of products contains a combination of ingredients to control excess oil and balance skin. Soothing botanicals help to reduce the appearance of redness and uneven skin tone associated with blemished skin.