You May Soon Be Able to Stick Your Dick Into a Three-Holed Sex Toy

All we have to say is: thank you.

Brian Sloan is a sex toy visionary. He first gifted the world with the Autoblow2, a blowjob-simulating male sex toy, but he didn’t stop there.

You see, Brian is a perfectionist, and he only wants the best for you and your dick. He hosted a competition for the world’s most beautiful vagina, and scoured the world for the ladies possessing the finest butthole, mouth, and vag. The winners had their bits 3D-scanned and are now immortalized forever in the three-headed Cerberus of sex toys: the 3Fap.

Why fuck just one hole, when you can experience all three in mere minutes?! Yes, the 3Fap has every orifice on a woman in which you could conceivably stick your dick, all rolled into one package. You can control the suction level on each orifice individually, in case you like your buttholes tighter than your mouths, for example.  Are you tired of hearing the world “orifice” yet?

The concept is pretty simple: you move the thing up and down on your junk, thus the “fap” sound from which it gets its name. But he’s not just in it for shock value: the molds are made of high-grade silicone, part of the reason he’s currently crowd-funding on Indiegogo. They’ve only just launched and are seeking funding to the tune of $40,000.

Won’t you please go donate today, and stop the plague of masturbatory boredom before it’s too late?

GIF via BuzzFeed