5 Reasons Why Lake Tahoe is the Ultimate Destination for Dudes

…and it’s still a pretty cool place to take a girl.

Trying to plan a trip with all your buddies is usually a total nightmare. One wants to snowboard. Another wants to gamble. Yet another doesn’t want to do anything but stuff his fat face at fancy restaurants. Luckily, there’s a city high up in the mountains straddling the Nevada/California border that is guaranteed to make everyone happy. Gentlemen, now is the time to plan your next brah-cation (sorry, we had to) to Lake Tahoe. Yes, the second largest alpine lake in the world – damn you, Lake Titicaca! – is a one-stop shop for all the skiing, snowboarding, gambling, eating, and partying a gang of dudes could possibly want. (Oh, and if you end up bringing your girl there, you’ll do okay too.) Here are five reasons Lake Tahoe is, quite simply, a killer destination.

1. There’s no better place for winter sports.

Take one look at a travel brochure for Lake Tahoe (you’re into collecting travel brochures, right?), and you’ll see that this magnificent lake is surrounded by beautiful, steep, powdery mountains. It is on these cliffs where you’ll find Heavenly Lake Taho, the spot to ski, snowboard, and, well, fall flat on your ass. Besides top-flight facilities, instructors, and views, they also throw the Unbuckle Apres Party, featuring drink specials, a bumping DJ, and, most importantly, the sexy Heavenly Angel dancers. You and your boys will never forget partying at 9,150 feet.

And if you’re with your girl?

After the skiing and the dancing (be sure to keep your eyes off those Heavenly Angels!), try to score a ride on the Heavenly snowcat. She’ll melt faster than peed-on snow. Aren’t we romantic?

2. Gambling, gambling, gambling.

Since half of the lake borders Nevada, all forms of gambling are totally legal. Right outside the base camp where the Heavenly gondola arrives, there’s a Harrah’s, a Harveys, and a MontBleu, all of which are packed with all the awesomeness – table games, slots, poker rooms, sports books, buffets, shows, and clubs – of any Vegas or Atlantic City casino. Then, whoever wins the most money can treat the rest of the guys to, uh, something else that’s legal in Nevada.

And if you’re with your girl?

After winning enough bread to provide for her for the rest of her life, take her to a show. We suggest Toad the Wet Sprocket at Harrah’s. She’s still obsessed with the 90s, right?

3. It’s a place to stuff your face.

It’s pretty simple, really. You and your friends will want steaks, so hit the Sage Room. You will also want Italian, so check out Base Camp Pizza Co. Finally, you will most assuredly want something that’s open 24 hours, so just remember the phrase “Lucky Beaver” (actually, there’s no way your pals are forgetting that one.)

And if you’re with your girl?

Take her here. Trust us.

4. The partying never stops.

No, seriously, the clubs are pretty much open till the break of dawn. Our suggestion is for you and the fellas to reserve a table at Opal at MontBleu. We also suggest that you hold off on rolling in till at least midnight; the party doesn’t really get started until then, and the last time we were there, we were kinda sitting alone in the VIP area for a couple of hours. Baller? No.

And if you’re with your girl?

Forget the bottle service. Instead, use the money to get yourselves a couples massage at the Onsen Spa. Once her masseuse’s expert hands have loosened up her body, your clumsy paws will have a real easy time.

5. It’s one of the most beautiful places in the world.

We’re really not exaggerating here. Snow-capped peaks? Insanely clear water? Lush greenery? Lake Tahoe once again has it all. We think the best way to take it all in is on a motherfuckin’ boat, specifically the M.S. Dixie II, which has both day and sunset cruises. And if your buddies think it’s a little weird that you want to go on a boat ride, just let them know that it was on these very waters where Fredo got it at the end of Godfather II. He broke our heart. He broke our heart…

And if you’re with your girl?

Hello, you’re going on a romantic cruise around one of the most picturesque places in the known universe! If you can’t get lucky once you get back ashore, we can’t help you.