Alaska Woman’s Storage Capacity Astonishes Police

She contained multitudes.

When Fairbanks police arrested Chelsea Sperry in late November for driving on a suspended license and the suspicion she’d passed a fake $100 bill, they had no way of knowing she was a walking storage locker full of vice. At least not until she made “furtive movements toward her vagina,” according to police reports. That’s when, reported The Smoking Gun, investigating officers found there was a lot more to the case than was visible to the naked eye:

A female corrections officer subsequently “removed a wad of cash and drugs from inside” Sperry. The haul included six $100 bills, three $50 bills, and seven $20 bills, all of which were counterfeit. The $890 in funny money, however, was supplemented by a genuine $10 bill that “was discovered in Sperry’s anus.”

But wait, there was more! Police documents published by TSG also indicated Sperry was “storing” a couple of baggies of “suspected” meth, two more bags of some “brown tarry substance,” and a “baggie containing seven blue pills.” 

Police identified the blue pills as morphine. The inventory wasn’t complete with the morphine, however—Ms. Sperry was also found to have stored a larger plastic baggie in which there were 40 smaller bags, which the police report stated were “the same sizes as the baggies the meth and heroin were in.” The reporting officer stated that such bags were often used to package and distribute heroin and methamphetamine. 

Jeffrey Martin, a male companion picked up with Chelsea Sperry at the time of her arrest, happened to have a lot of money and a scale, but TSG reported that the police apparently didn’t arrest him nor make note of whether he also had chosen to turn an orifice into a hidey-hole.

The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner reported that Sperry was “charged with felony first-degree forgery, felony third-degree drug misconduct and misdemeanor fourth-degree drug misconduct,” though the district attorney’s office later dropped the forgery charge. 

Sperry was reportedly let go on a $5000 bond, perhaps feeling a little lighter with her burdens in evidence storage—and now, in body cavity-searching legend. 

Photos by Chelsea Sperry / Facebook