You probably think that couples who frequently get it are happier together than couples who only have sex once every three weeks, but is that actually true?
According to a new study published in the scientific journal Psychological Science, couples who have lots of sex aren’t necessarily more satisfied with their relationships compared to those who have sex less often. However, the frequency a couple has sex does have some implications on what two lovebirds subconsciously feel towards each other.
Researchers asked 216 newlyweds how many times they had sex in the past four months, then had subjects complete a survey in which they rated their general feelings of satisfaction with their marriage, relationship, and partner. Then, they completed a classification task designed to evaluat their subconscious feelings toward their partner.
"We found that the frequency with which couples have sex has no influence on whether or not they report being happy with their relationship, but their sexual frequency does influence their more spontaneous, automatic, gut-level feelings about their partners," said lead researcher Lindsey L. Hicks.
What does this mean? As it turns out, couples who have sex do indeed associate their partners with positive traits, and vice versa. But while couples who take a romp in the hay every day might feel golden in their hearts when they think about each other, couples who practice unintentional abstinence don't. "Deep down, some people feel unhappy with their partner but they don't readily admit it to us, or perhaps even themselves," said Hicks. Cue sad trombone.
From a biological standpoint, having sex often increases the chances of having a baby, and facilitates bonding through hormones like oxytocin. When couples don’t do the deed very often, it might mean they don’t even realize that they don’t want to be bound together forever by a child or the hormones that will make them think they can't live without each other.
Long story short, if you don’t feel like having sex with your boo very often, she might not be right for you. Sorry.