Ashley Madison Hacked, Weird Fantasies Exposed

The divorce rate is about to get a lot higher.

Someone get a hold of Maury. Ashley Madison, the dating website known for its brash slogan “Life is short. Have an affair,” was hacked recently with their entire user database compromised. Over 37 million subscribers’ information is on the line, with financial information, user profiles, and intimate sexual fantasies (like that odd obsession with group sex or doin’ the dirty in the back of your car) headed for exposure.

The culprits, or band of martial do-gooders, refer to themselves as “The Impact Team” and claim that Ashley Madison’s service of scrubbing your profile for a small fee is almost as bogus as the user’s marriages. They’re threatening to release even more data if their demands of the site’s deletion are not met, which would certainly cost the company millions of dollars (as well as the marriages of countless customers) to shut down their multiple websites. 

The news of this hack sounds like something straight out of an episode of ‘Scandal’, but with less of the gorgeous Kerry Washington and more of the creepy dudes that stare at you from across the subway. With so much on the line, it’s going to be real interesting if “The Impact Team” goes through with their threat. There must be some actor, musician, or government official who is uncontrollably sweating after hearing this news, and we’re pretty excited to find out just who that is.  Only time will tell.

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