Way back when, there were only three commonly known sexual orientations. Straight, gay, and bisexual. Now, in 2017, there are too many to count.
In fact, Tinder recently updated their options to 37+ different gender identity options, so yeah. Like I said, too many to count.
And guess what? If you’re someone who’s thinks all those soccer moms and bored housewives out there are smokin’ hot, and you’d rather hook up with a middle-aged lady who’s swiftly approaching menopause than anyone else, you’re a different sexual orientation than the rest of us. Or so says one researcher.
Michael C. Seto, the forensic research director at the Royal Ottawa Health Care Group, recently published an article in the scientific journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, in which he explores the seemingly complicated enigma known as sexual orientation.
In his article, Seto argues that there are different sexual orientations, more scientifically known as chronophilias, that target certain age groups. For example, pedophilia. We all know what age group that targets. But that’s not the age group we’re going to talk about right now.
According to Seto, dudes who have the hots for middle-aged women, such as 40-something ladies shopping for Pine-Sol at Walmart or suburban soccer moms, are called mesophiles.
So, yeah. If you’re attracted to aging women who are going through a midlife crisis or something, you’re apparently a completely different sexual orientation.
On a side note, isn’t it fascinating how we’re trying to label literally everything? We’re evolving, people.
Anyway, to put it broadly, Seto’s argument is that being attracted to certain age groups can be classified as paraphilias, which are sexual urges that researchers find a little weird and out of the ordinary.
And being specifically attracted to middle-aged women, he says, is definitely a paraphilia.
“Where we are on safe ground with gender, I am making an argument for age," he told Science of Us. "And maybe some day we’ll have a better understanding of how other paraphilias fit in."
“I think nobody has studied mesophilia yet because it’s not seen as a pressing need clinically,” he adds, suggesting that until now, researchers have never, ever felt the need to scientifically study the underpinnings of why bored housewives commonly hook up with their pool boys.
“One of my hopes with this paper is to encourage people to look at mesophilia," Seto concludes, encouraging us all to show our love to all those middle-aged babes out there.
H/T: Science of Us