Anyone who has a penis knows that it’s “desirable” to be well-hung. Don’t deny it. I, myself, don’t have a penis, seeing as I’m a woman and all, but even I know this as a brute fact of life. It’s like a pissing contest to the male species.
That said, every dude wants to have a penis that makes women stare in awe and makes other dudes feel inferior, but the reality of the situation is that there aren’t very many men out there who have dicks so massive that it makes anyone within a 10-foot radius aware of its presence.
In fact, a recent study by sex researcher Justin Lehmiller found that the average Joe’s anaconda is 5.2 inches, which isn’t exactly colossal. But don't get me wrong -- it's not small, either.
Moreover, research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that only three percent of American men (that's a very small amount) have whopping 8+ inch dicks, which makes me wonder, where the hell are these rare, ridiculously well-hung men? Where are they hiding?
For the study, researchers analyzed condom sales and specifically looked at which male populations buy the most Magnum condoms, and from that, assumed that dudes who buy Magnum condoms must actually have big dicks and definitely don't overestimate their size.
And so, the moment of truth: According to the study, 26 percent of men in Washington, D.C. buy Magnum condoms for their Magnum dicks, putting them in 10th place in the “America’s Biggest Dicks” contest.
In ninth place is Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, with 27 percent of men purchasing Magnum condoms, followed by Boston, Massachusetts, at 29 percent.
Number seven on the list is Phoenix, Arizona, with 31 percent of the male population claiming they have massive dongs, right after Newark, Delaware, at 33 percent.
Next up, at number five, housing a solid 43 percent, is Tuscon, Arizona. Hmm…that’s the second city in Arizona on this list. I’m noticing a pattern. Interesting...
Moving on, number four on the list of big dick cities is Atlanta, Georgia, at 44 percent, number three is Chicago, Illinois, at 49 percent, and the runner up, at a whopping 73 percent is Denver, Colorado. I love it.
And now, the top American city with the biggest dicks is…drum roll, please…Columbus, Ohio! Hats off to all 82 percent of men in Columbus who are packing eight or more inches.
Well, now we know where dudes with the biggest dongs in America are. Do what you will with that information. If you live in those cities, you might be one of the men in the percentages. Congratulations.
However, if you're not packing a lethal 8 inches like the Magnum men, congratulations to you too, because research revealed that most women actually prefer average-size dicks.
So, no matter what, you're all winners.