Check Out The Dating Website For Women Who Only Care About Big Dongs

For some daters, size does matter.

For some daters, size does matter.

Photo: Jonne Kingma / Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

Guys with huge penises, there’s hope for you yet. A new dating site called is here to match you with the size queen of your dreams. No longer do you need to hide your monster manmeat behind the shroud of trousers — now you can dangle it as bait on the internet, attracting women who only care about one thing: your enormous schlong.

To become a member (hee hee, MEMBER!), you need to do a few things. First and foremost, get out your ruler and measure your package. Are you at least 7 inches? Great, you’re in. You’re six and three-quarters inches? NOT BIG ENOUGH. You will be relegated to the tiny ween dating site called

Those who’ve established that they’re packing should fill out a profile. Start by creating a subtle screen name, like “WangHungTonight” or “Cockzilla,” and fill out all the important deets, like your penis length, girth, and status of foreskin. You can also write about your occupation and hobbies, but who cares about that? You got a big dick! 

Finally, you’re going to need to post a photo. No cock shots, because you’re classy. Instead, try what user BigDean did and subtley reference your gargantuwang by holding your arm out just so. And take off your shirt because why not? 

And that’s it! You are now free to browse the site and message the ladeez until you find your perfect match (i.e., a woman with a cavernous vagina). God speed!

Want more sexy news? Check out How to Go to a Sex Party and Virgin America’s Creepy In-Flight Flirting