Drunk German Commandos Go On Chainsaw Rampage

A German SWAT team unleashes hell after being reprimanded for doing really weird stuff with ice cream.

We’ve all had those days: the boss calls you into his office, says you’re getting let go, and that it was completely inappropriate for you to bind your subordinates with ropes and force them to eat ice cream off your crotch. It happens to the best of us. 

On Tuesday, an elite German SWAT team was disbanded after a report by the Interior Minister revealed that its officers had been carrying out bizarre hazing rituals on new recruits that involved acts of bondage and forcing some to slurp a disgusting milkshake-like concoction from between the thighs of a superior, reports The Local. According to the paper, four of the officers “would never be allowed to serve in an SEK [Spezialeinsatzkommando, the German equivalent of SW] unit again, while five were banned from serving in the SEK in Cologne, the police chief announced.”

This is an obvious disappointment for officers devoted to serving such an elite tactical unit. But instead of hanging their heads in shame, the culprits reacted by throwing a big party outside their former employer’s headquarters building in Cologne. As the alcohol flowed, the lines between justice and revenge began to blur. Then all hell broke loose. By the time the dust settled, the unit’s old common room was in shambles, shredded to smithereens by a chainsaw-wielding super cop.

“We were the ones who set this room up, now we’re going to return it to its original state,” one of them said, according to German tabloid Bild.

“They said they were taking back what belonged to them” a police spokesperson told Bild. “We are investigating further.” They might just want to let this one go.