Doggy Style Is Officially The Most Dangerous Sex Position Known To Man
Read this if you care about your penis.
If you’ve ever broken a bone, you know that it hurts like a mofo, and it’s definitely not a pleasant experience.
Now, based on how much it hurts to break your arm or something, can you imagine just how much it must suck to break your penis?
Yeah, even though your dick doesn’t have an actual bone in it, you can totally break it, and I can only imagine that it’s way, WAY worse than snapping your arm in half.
A broken penis, medically known as a penile fracture, happens when you tear a hole in your tunica albuginea, which is the part of your dick responsible for giving you boners.
You’ll know it’s broken if you hear a popping or cracking sound, swiftly go flaccid, and observe your penis turning a deep shade of blue, red, and purple, like a beautiful sunset.
Are you screaming yet? Because I sure am, and I’m not even a dude.
Last year, a study published in Advances in Urology named cowgirl the most dangerous sex position of all time, because it puts your precious manhood in a very vulnerable position, and makes it easy for disaster to strike.
Think of it this way — just when you’re thinking about how awesome it feels to have a woman riding your D train, something goes horribly wrong and your dick slams right into her thigh, and it’s all over. RIP to your genitals.
If this makes you want to proceed with extreme caution and go really, really slow next time you have sex, let me ease your worries. Penile fractures are so uncommon that researchers were only able to gather information from 44 cases for the study, which shows how rare it is.
But still, you should be mindful. Just in case.
Remember how I said the most dangerous position was found to be cowgirl? Well, I’m sorry to say, but this year, there’s a new winner: Doggy style.
According to a study published in the International Journal of Impotence Research, it was found that more men have been rushed to the ER with broken cocks due to doggy-related incidents than any other position, which is bad news for all you dudes who like to give it to her from behind.
“In this position, the man exerts a lot of power into his thrusts, which can take a wrong turn if he is not diligent,” the researchers said in last year’s study, suggesting having rough sex is risky business unless you’re super careful.
Realistically speaking, though, none of us are that careful in the middle of rough, passionate sex. But perhaps we should be…?
Moral of the story: If you’re going to rail her from behind really hard, be. careful.