This Election Day, Wrap Your Junk in Political Condoms

“Thin as a politician’s promise.”

Yes, today is technically Election Day. And even though we’re not voting to put a new president in the White House, you can still do your part to promote democracy. Paradise Marketing, a prominent wholesaler of condoms, is helping you celebrate your civic duty to vote with a limited release of political condoms.

Available in five different slogans, the messages from these rubbers are preferable to anything I’ve heard from a candidate so far.


Made from latex, these lubricated condoms are supposedly designed to “enhance sensitivity and pleasure from every angle.” And while literally every condom I’ve ever seen says that, at least these will make you laugh along the way as you awkwardly fumble around in your bedside table to find one. Nope, that doesn’t kill the mood at all!

You can get them in jars of 40, or if you’re feeling very ambitious, a bulk case of 1,000.


Happy Erection Day to us all.

Photos by Paradise Marketing