Fun Fact: Summer is the unequivocally, indisputably, undeniably worst time to go camping. While your n00b-ass friends are cramming air mattresses and bags of beef jerky into their Subarus in preparation for a fun-filled weekend of swamp ass and mosquito bites, you know that the best camping comes after the hottest days of summer are behind us. And damn it, those days are here and now!
But what do you need to make the best of it all? Don’t worry, we’ve done the shopping for you:
1. The Camp Propane Grill/Stove+
The product description for this thing talks about sautéing veggies and grilling chicken, but we’re going to go ahead and pretend it says, “grill up some bacon-wrapped, cheese-filled hot dogs and some goddamn thick-cut rib steaks, sautéed in beer and human tears of freedom.”
Anyway, this beautiful and compact propane grill packs a 130-square-inch grilling area, and two adjustable burners that put out a respectable 20,000 BTUs of cooking power. Consider it essential for every autumn expedition.
2. The Tentsile Stingray
Getting a little too old to be sleeping on the floor? Expecting rain on your weekend excursion? Leave the air mattresses and blue tarps home, and pick up a Stingray, by Tentsile. This tree tent (AKA PORTABLE TREEHOUSE!), sleeps three, and features insect- and weather-proof covering, which means safety from puddles, tough terrain, insects, snakes, and other precarious possibilities.
3. Canada Goose Bracebridge Jacket
This is a 400-dollar jacket. This is a 400-dollar jacket. We repeat, this is a 400-dollar jacket.
Now that we got that out of the way…when it comes to fall camping, keeping warm is essential. If there’s anything worse than waking up in a perspiration-saturated sleeping bag like some kind of sweat burrito, it’s not being able to sleep over the chattering of your own teeth.
The Bracebridge Jacket by Canada Goose is slim and sleek, and will keep you warm in most autumn climates, on the trail or in your tent. The suede tricot-lined collar and windguard work wonders, and the recessed Lycra stretch cuffs and adjustable hem will help insulate your midsection and arms. It also has an interior pocket with a “media port,” whatever the hell that is.
4. Buck Knives Selkirk Knife
A good blade is an essential piece of camping equipment, and while Victorinox and their Swiss Army knives are excellent blades, all you should need on a camping trip is a good, sturdy, fixed-blade knife.
TSelkirk’s one-piece, drop-point blade is made from 420HC Stainless Steel, and the handle is CNC contoured Micarta. The butt of the knife can be used as a light-duty hammer. So there—a strong, durable blade to cut things with, and a hammer for some extra “umph.” Oh, and Buck’s beautiful Forever Warranty.
5. Sea to Summit Sleeping Pads
Camping is all about unplugging. Leave your TVs, your cell phones, and your big comfy beds in the city where they belong, and come into the great outdoors and make do. If your back starts aching at the mere thought of sleeping in a tent, sleeping pads from Sea to Summit are making waves with just about everyone, this season. Several models in a bunch of different sizes means plenty of options. The best part? They fit snuggly inside most one-person sleeping bags, and pack away tightly to avoid taking up too much space.
6. The Northface Superlight 35/2
Believe us when we tell you that your sleeping bag will make our break your camping experience. If your bag is too heavy or has too much insulation, you’ll toss, turn, and wake up in a puddle of sweat. But if your gear is too light, you risk catching a cold (or worse), and turning your fun weekend getaway into the weekend respite from hell.
The Northface Superlight 35/2 is lightweight and compact, but will keep you warm on the harshest of autumn nights. The water-repellent 800-fill ProDown insulation is rated for 35 degrees, and features like the draft collar and hood cinch-cord seals out the cold and help keeps the warm air in. On more mild nights, features like the center and foot zippers help you breathe.
7. The Kniper
How often have you been sitting in the woods with your throwing knife, and said to yourself, “Man, I wish I had a bong right now.” Oh, Never? Well, with the goddamn Kniper, you’ll never even have to even begin worrying about that.
The knife, made from 420 high-carbon stainless steel, measures 13 inches long, and comes with a nail remover, wire stripper, saw, Phillips head screwdriver, pry bar, and more importantly, a fork, bottle opener, and “tobacco” pipe. Oh, and it cuts stuff, too.
8. The Coolest Cooler
When the idea for the coolest cooler broke into mainstream media last year, people were hailing it as one of the most prolific and game-changing design concepts in modern history. Well, as of July 2015, they’re an actual thing.
Don’t let the $485 price tag deter you – this thing is worth every penny. The Coolest features a custom blender, measuring cups, plates (THAT DOUBLE AS FRISBEES), utensils, a cutting board, a bungee tie-down, a wireless Bluetooth speaker, a bottle opener, a USB charger, a convenient LED light in the cooler, etc.
The Coolest is the camper’s cooler.