The dating world is a savage place, where one wrong move can send something that could have been beautiful straight to the crapper. If you’re like 99 percent of the world population, you know what I’m talking about.
That said, we’re here to help. Armed with scientific evidence put together by the folks over at Medical Daily, here are five ways to be a better flirt and look more attractive doing it.
1. Have good posture.
A study conducted by scientists at Colorado College found that women pay more attention to good body posture in men than good looks and shitty personalities, which is saying something. Standing up straight communicates that you’re strong and confident, and we all know that confidence is sexy. No woman wants to be with a man who looks insecure AF and slouches over himself like Quasimodo.
So, next time you’re hitting on a hottie, remind yourself to put your shoulders back and sit straight, because you’ll instantly look way hotter, especially if you have a vexing personality.
2. Don’t stand too close.
If you get too close to a woman at any time aside from very intimate moments (like when you’re having sex), odds are she will retreat in haste and not want to talk to you ever again. This is true for men, too. Why? Because humans enjoy something called “social distance,” or in layman’s terms, a personal bubble. Sound familiar?
A comfortable social distance is typically an arm’s length distance, so it’s always good to keep that in mind when you’re flirting with a woman. We’ve all had someone get waaay too close to us during a conversation, and it’s always super awkward. When in doubt, take a step back.
And guess what—a study found that when men are in monogamous relationships, they subconsciously keep a good distance between themselves and an attractive woman, thanks to the oxytocin that makes him feel committed to his girlfriend. So gentlemen, once you fall head over heels in love with a woman, she kinda sorta controls your brain. Fun fact!
3. Keep the conversation light.
Here’s the deal with women and flirting—apparently, they don’t want to hear about some deeply personal detail about your life, nor do they care to listen to you subtly mention how much you want to get in her pants or how her ass is from outer space, or something. Do yourself a favor and stop yourself before you say anything like that.
That said, all women want is to engage in some light conversation about how great Led Zeppelin is, or how blue the water is in Bora Bora. You know, just lighthearted stuff.
Or at least that’s what a study published in the journal Sex Roles says. Apparently, women prefer innocuous conversation lines like “What do you think of this band?” instead of lines like “How messed up is quantum physics? Parallel universes and stuff? Haha we should have sex.”
Moral of the story is, talk about things like puppies and music at first, and save the other stuff for a later date.
4. Make sexy eye contact.
According to a study published in the Journal of Research in Personality, eye contact is one of the most important flirting methods, and just a few flirtatious glances can speak a thousand words. If the lovely lady you’re making eye contact with smiles and looks away, only to quickly return your gaze, it probably means she’s into you. On the other hand, if she looks away and doesn’t look back, sorry, but she doesn’t like you. You can stop staring at her now.
However, it's important to note that not all eye contact is sexy, as you probably already know. The key to sexy eye contact is knowing how long to hold her gaze, and it’s also very important to not open your eyes really wide, because that’s just creepy. Don’t do that.
5. Gently touch her arm or waist.
Last but not least, a gentle brush of your hand across her arm, or touching the small of her back for a few short seconds is a subtle, yet direct way to get your point across without freaking her out.
A study published in the journal Social Influence found that a touch on the shoulder, waist, or forearm is pretty powerful flirting behavior, and works wonders if the sexual attraction is mutual. And here’s an extra tip: the most effective type of flirtatious touch occurs face-to-face, which is really direct, and makes you seem confident and comfortable. And that's hot.
Good luck, gentlemen.