This Freakish New Penis Glue Might Make Condoms Obsolete

It could be a TOTAL game-changer.

If you’re a sexually active and reasonably responsible adult who is dating more than one person, you probably have condoms in your wallet, or stashed somewhere in your bedroom, right? Right. Good for you.

Since condoms are  such a necessity for all you swinging dicks out there, condom companies are constantly trying to make them better and thinner, so that the fabulous sensation of getting all up inside a woman doesn’t feel as muted.

And that’s exactly the mentality behind Jiftip, which is like an Elmer’s glue sticker for your penis. You just slap that sucker on the tip of your cock, and it basically plugs the hole and keeps your soldiers from marching out, all while you feel everything.

Described as a “feel shield,” the top later is polyurethane, and the adhesive is like an industrial strength band-aid, so that nothing leaks out.

But here’s the catch – you need to pull out before it’s too late and rip that sticker off your penis and cum on her back, or something.

Why? Well, if you blow your load in her box thinking that little sticker is going to force your baby gravy back down into your balls or whatever, you’re mistaken. 

That shit’s going to fly right off your dick and embed itself into your girl’s uterus, along with the egg you just fertilized.

“Where you’re open, Jiftip has you covered. Slam the door on foreign invaders and trap those few eager baby-seeds until you’re ready to let them go,” the website says, clearly stating this contraption is definitely not like a condom. It only takes care of precum – not the real deal.

You should also know that Jiftip doesn’t protect against STDs. Or pregnancy, for that matter. It doesn’t protect against anything, actually. It seems pretty useless when you think about it.

“Do not use Jiftip. I tried, it failed. Highly un-recommended,” one user commented, suggesting Jiftip is absolutely pointless.

To conclude, I suggest never using Jiftip. I don’t know why it exists, nor do I know what the inventor was thinking when he came up with this half-baked idea.

H/T: Mirror