Here’s What Will Get You Kicked Out of the Met Ball

Don’t bring parsley!

The Met Ball is the hottest ticket in town. The annual cross-pollination of entertainment, art, and fashion heavyweights comes with a $25,000 price tag and a notoriously rigid code of conduct. Selfies are verboten; see-through dresses are fine (Hey, J-Lo). 

But for us hoi polloi who can’t manage the cash, an upcoming documentary, The First Monday in May, shines a rare light on the most exclusive banquet since The Last Supper. Things look as glamorous and sexy as we’ve heard, but those rules and regulations exceed expectations.

For one, getting a good seat is tough. Just ask Josh Hartnett, whose recent career didn’t give him much help. “Josh Hartnett? What has he done lately? Nothing,” planner Sylvana Durrett says in the film, according to The New York Post. Ouch.

NFL quarterbacks don’t have it any easier, but dating Olivia Munn helps. In a scene in the trailer, the camera pans over the night’s seating arrangements, where star QB Aaron Rodgers is listed as “Olivia Munn’s BF.”

Cell phones are off-limits. “I thought he wasn’t coming,” party-giver Anna Wintour groans when she sees the name of one guest on the seating chart. “OK, can he not be on his cellphone the entire time then?”

“They were told very clearly that they weren’t allowed to be using their cellphones, and if they were seen using their cellphones they would be escorted out of the [ball],” the film’s director, Andrew Rossi, told The Post.

Regarding the food selections, Rossi admitted, “The level of detail is shocking.”

A former Vogue employee finked to The Post that onion and garlic are banned as to not give attendees bad breath, and bruschetta is a no-go because “it can fall easily on your gown.”

So, there you have it. To not get kicked out of this year’s Met Ball, you cannot have the career of Josh Hartnett, you must date an Olivia Munn if you’re a nobody like Aaron Rodgers, and you must abstain from messy and smelly foods like parsley, garlic, onion, or bruschetta. 

Oh yeah, and there’s also a dress code (last year’s was “Chinese White Tie“), although there’s some room for interpretation (Again, see: J-Lo). 

To answer any further questions, consult the trailer for The First Monday in May below.

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