6 Things You Need To Know About The History of Blowjobs

It's time to bone up on BJs.
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(Photo: Getty)

(Photo: Getty)

Blowjobs are a staple in (and out) of the bedroom, have you ever thought bout the rich historical legacy of this most famous form of foreplay?

Even though BJs haven't exactly been a topic of conversation up until a few decades ago, they've been a deservedly popular sex act for thousands of years. So without further ado, the bountiful history of the glorious blowjob, courtesy of a new report from Mic:

1. The first documented blowjob resurrected an ancient Egyptian God.
Though only from mythology, the first "documented" blowjob was between the Egyptian god-king Osiris, and his sister-turned-wife Isis. The story goes that when Osiris was murdered and chopped up into pieces by his brother, Set, Osiris’ wife Isis put his body back together, but unfortunately couldn’t find the penis. Clearly thinking: “what’s a man without a penis?” she crafted a makeshift dick out of clay, stuck it onto Osiris’ crotch, and “blew” life into him by sucking his clay penis. Which is why amazing blowjobs take your breath away even today.

The man himself, Osiris. (Source: British Museum)

The man himself, Osiris. (Source: British Museum)

2. Pompeiians were very sexual people.
Pompeii is best known as the Italian city that drowned in molten lava when Mount Vesuvius erupted in 79 AD, but the ancient city was actually a lot saucier than you’d think.

About 50 years ago, erotic fresco paintings were discovered in the baths of Pompeii, depicting lesbian sex, group sex, and lots and lots of blowjobs. Historians believe the paintings were intended to get visitors, who would need to go through the baths to get to the city center, into the “Pompeii state of mind,” which was sexual and horny.

(Source: Bridgeman Art Library)

(Source: Bridgeman Art Library)

There’s even an extravagant two-story brothel in Pompeii called The Lupanare, that houses equally titillating erotic paintings, and rumor has it, a prostitute named Myrtis had a sign on her door that pointed out her specialty –yep, blowjobs.

3. Ancient Greeks loved blowjobs, too.
In the times of Plato and Socrates, blowjobs abounded, and were artfully called “playing the flute.” Grecians happily lifted their togas for someone to come along and play their flute *wink wink* and it was actually pretty common for oral sex to be exchanged between two straight men. Though not always...

(Source: Wiki Commons)

(Source: Wiki Commons)

Some of the earliest phallic poetic references came from ancient Greece, as the great poet Archilochus wrote, "As on a straw a Thracian man or Phrygian sucks his brew, forward she stooped, working away." Or in other words, she really knows how to use her mouth. 

4. An entire chapter of the Kama Sutra is dedicated to oral sex.
In Ancient India, fellatio was ritualized, and the original Sanskrit version of the Kama Sutra even has an entire chapter on “auparishtaka,” or “oral congress,” which is basically the art of blowjobs. The chapter goes into detail on eight different ways to give head, and some of them are pretty complicated, and look like they require a good amount of flexibility.

(Source: Wikipedia)

(Source: Wikipedia)

5. Blowjobs were a punishment in ancient Rome.
In Ancient Rome, giving a blowjob was a terrible, horrible thing, and was even worse than anal sex. And for ancient Romans, anal sex was an unforgivable vice. However, it was totally fine to receive a blowjob, and petty crimes were often solved with forceful blowjobs.

For example: Imagine you’re an Ancient Roman, and you own a fantastic onion field. So many onions. Suddenly, a peasant runs through your field and steals some of your onions. That jerk! Instead of having his eyes gouged out or his arms chopped off, you can simply pull down your pants and order him to give you a blowjob. The end.

Fun fact: having bad breath in ancient Rome was frowned upon, because it might have meant you just gave someone a blowjob.

6. Oral sex could get you executed in the 19th century.
Thanks to certain churchgoing killjoys, any sexual act that didn’t lead to your wife popping out babies was a mortal sin, and that included oral sex. So if a woman got a little tipsy on some toilet hooch (booze was more or less frowned upon) and got caught giving a man a blowjob, it was off with her head. Aren’t you glad those days are over?

(Source: Francois Guillot/Getty)

(Source: Francois Guillot/Getty)

There you have it. A brief history of the beloved blowjob, a sex act that has been through it all. 

H/T: Mic