Hoverboard Porn Is Now A Thing
A futuristic new genre literally no one asked for.
I regret to inform you all that the already irritating hoverboard has infiltrated our final, sacred space: the porn industry. Yes, though we’ve know for some time that people are having sex on them, now some intrepid sports enthusiasts are monetizing the practice. Behold, hoverporn!
Until this point, we’ve seen one-off posts on Twitter depicting hoversex videos, like a woman with her legs wrapped around a guy doing doughnuts on a hoverboard, who is clearly loving it.
Now, internet porn company Brazzers has released a thirty-minute flick entitled The Future of Fucking, which entails all manner of robotically enhanced sex acts, set atop this Christmas’ hottest gift. We won’t go into further details, but click the very NSFW link and see for yourself.
But let us take this moment to remind those brave hoverporn stars (and anyone else tempted to have sex on a hoverboard) that they are potentially explosive. Plus, you’ve probably seen all those videos of people falling off their hoverboards and eating shit, right? So if you attempt hoversex, you’ll not only look and feel like a huge douche, but you’ll also more than likely fall off, or end up with a scorched penis.
The risk is probably not worth the reward here, people.