How to Get Into a Club

Unless you listen to Cordell Lochin, doorman at the Box in N.Y.C.

1. Grand Opening

If you’re going to a club for the first time, it’s best to get there early, before the place fills up. Bring at least one hot girl if not more than one. That’s your best chance to make it happen on the first shot.

2. Bring a Ringer

Hitting up a spot you don’t know well, it’s always best to go first with someone who has a reputation. Popping your cherry with a regular will make things easier for you the next time you arrive solo.

3. Dress for Success

You’ve got to look the part. Make sure your duds are stylish and hip, so you feel like you fit in when you get to the door. If you’re having problems matching colors or outfits, try wearing all black, or call your mom for help.

4. Look Important

Walk up to the door with confidence, as if you know you’re supposed to be in there. Push your way to the front and look the doorman directly in his eyes, as if you expect him to let you in. If you feel like you don’t belong, he can smell it.

5. Check Your Attitude

If you don’t think you’re going to make it in, always wait with patience. Never be rude to anyone. The worst thing you can do is try to intimidate or push a doorman into doing something he doesn’t want to do.

6. Drop Proper Names

Unless you have a direct link to someone who works there or someone the doorman knows, don’t try name-dropping. A mediocre or bad name-drop is a giant red flag, worse than not knowing anyone.

7. Spend Wisely

If you don’t have connections that can help, sometimes you can offer to buy a table. It’s expensive, but it gets you in the door. Whatever you do, don’t offer the doorman a wad of cash. If it’s a nice club, it isn’t getting you in, and it’s insulting.

8. Better Luck Next Time

Be classy and persistent. If you don’t get in the first time, come back a few days later. Chances are the doorman will recognize you. If he likes you, you might make the cut. If you get dissed a second time, then eff it. It’s only a stupid club.