How Many Women Should You Sleep With?
Everyone has a number. Now let’s walk through the consequences.
Everyone has a number. And in this age of smartphone seduction, when getting laid is easier than ever, we reckon the number is larger than ever. Between Tinder and Hinge and that one with the bagel, sex is literally at our fingertips. You may have a list of lovers you’ve entirely forgotten about already, and that’s ok. No judgement here.
Whether you land on the Mick Jagger side of the spectrum, or consider yourself the Paul Newman, ultimate-husband type, there is no right or wrong answer to how many women you should sleep with—no matter what your girlfriend says. Below, we map out the possibilities and what it might mean for you.
If you’ve slept with five or fewer women in your lifetime, you’re most likely A) a serial monogamist, B) conservative by nature, or C) waiting for “the one,” that person they write songs about, the ying to your yang, etc. Respect on all fronts, though you might consider stepping up your game. N.B.: We don’t consider zero a number because, well, virgins.
Is this the most realistic range? Perhaps. According to a study presented by Health Survey for England, the average man has 9.3 sexual partners in his lifetime (we don’t want to know where the .3 comes from). But who wants to be average? Swipe right, and let’s move on…
You’re either striving for greatness, or you’re trying to save face. Up to 20 women? Congratulations, you’re above average. However, 20+ women and the average number of lies you’re telling to women to get laid is also likely to spike. That’s simple logic. Regardless, conquering between 15 and 30 (worthy) women is quite the sexual accomplishment. Hats off, good sir.
Is your name Leo? Did you DiCaprio the whole club? If so, good on ya, mate. Bringing home 20 women at once is certainly something you’ll want the entire world to hear about. Also, if you’re looking to hit your numbers with maximum efficiency, this covers close to half your quota in one session. If you didn’t pull a DiCaprio, bravo still! 50 women on 50 separate occasions requires equal parts game, focus and stamina—three qualities that aren’t commonly found in the same person. Like in Darwinism, only the strong survive this bracket of women.
More than 100
Damn. You must be really good looking, and should probably write a book. You must also have a permanent residency at your local health clinic, and should probably get tested early and often. Now, go high-five your inner 15-year-old, the same kid who once humbly dreamed of reaching second base. You’ve come a long way, the two of you.
This is a category reserved just for Wilt Chamberlain. Yes, twenty thousand females. “I was just doing what was natural – chasing good-looking ladies, whoever they were and wherever they were,” he’d boast. Is it even possible to bed 20,000 ladies in a lifetime? You do the math—we’re tired just thinking about it—but unless you’re an athletic legend who’s scored over 31,000 points in the NBA (do the math: that’s about 1.55 women per career point), we highly suggest you not attempt this feat of sexual brilliance. But you can always dream.
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