Hunter S. Thompson’s Daily Routine Was Better Than Yours

Consider him your alternate lifestyle guru. 

Epically profane gonzo journalist and novelist Hunter S. Thompson wouldn’t be our number one pick for a lifestyle guru (unless we’re talking alternative lifestyles). Those familiar with his druggy roman à clef Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas know he lived hard, indulging in substance abuse, and lawless hedonism.

But we gotta say, his daily routine was a hell of a lot more interesting than Kylie Jenner’s.

Per this timeless bit from E. Jean Carroll’s 1993 memoir on Thompson, we’d like to throw Thompson’s hat in the ring for one-of-a-kind daily routines. It’s a wonder he made it to 67.

3:00 p.m.: Rise

3:05 p.m.: Chivas Regal with the morning paper, Dunhills

3:45 p.m.: Cocaine

3:50 p.m.: Another glass of Chivas, More Dunhills

4:05 p.m.: First cup of coffee, Dunhill

4:15 p.m.: Cocaine

4:16 p.m.: Orange juice, Dunhill

4:30 p.m.: Cocaine

4:54 p.m.: Cocaine

5:05 p.m.: Cocaine

5:11 p.m.: Coffee, Dunhills

5:30 p.m.: More ice in the Chivas

5:45 p.m.: Cocaine, etc.

6:00 p.m.: Weed to take the edge off

7:05 p.m.: Lunch of Heineken, two margaritas, coleslaw, taco salad, double order of fried onion rings, carrot cake, ice cream, a bean fritter, Dunhills, another Heineken, cocaine, and a snow cone for the ride home (a glass of shredded ice with Chivas poured on top).

9:00 p.m.: Starts snorting cocaine seriously

10:00 p.m.: Drops acid

11:00 p.m.: Chartreuse, cocaine, and weed

11:30 p.m.: Cocaine, etc.

12:00 a.m.: Time to write

12:05-6:00 a.m.: Chartreuse, cocaine, weed, Chivas, coffee, Heineken, clove cigarettes, grapefruit, Dunhills, orange juice, gin, and porn watching

6:00 a.m.: In the hot tub, champagne, Dove bars, and fettuccine alfredo

8:00 a.m.: Halcyon

8:20 a.m.: Sleep

Thompson’s ideal breakfast was a whole ‘nother story. According to Lapham’s Quarterly, it consisted of four Bloody Marys, two grapefruits, a pot of coffee, Rangoon crêpes, a half-pound of either sausage, bacon, or corned-beef hash with diced chilies, a Spanish omelet or eggs benedict, a quart of milk, a chopped lemon for random seasoning, and a slice of key lime pie, two margaritas and six lines of cocaine for dessert.

Perhaps it’s best gunslinging Thompson didn’t live to see the age of lifestyle blogging.

Photos by Getty Images