Recent research revealed that the average length of time the actual sex part of sex lasts isn’t very long. 5.4 minutes from the moment you get it in to the moment you ejaculate, to be exact.
Despite this average time of 5.4 minutes, there’s no ‘normal’ length of time the entire encounter is supposed to last, because for some people, sex lasts a long time. You know, if you're just not feeling it and you need to get all buttered up and then she needs to get all buttered up, etc. But for others, it can all be over in a mere 30 seconds.
While there’s no set amount of time sex should last, there are ways to last longer. This is where sex expert Tracey Cox comes in, giving us some tips and tricks—as outlined in the Daily Mail—to help us increase our...endurance.
“Get into the habit of telling each other exactly where you’re at, arousal wise,” Cox told the Daily Mail. For example, if you’re doing it doggie-style going to blow soon, let her know. She might not be ready for the fun to be over yet.
Or, if she’s doing a certain something that feels a little too good, tell her how amazing it feels, and then request that she stop it because you’re about to bust.
2. Switch stimulation regularly.
“Not only will it keep you both hovering rather than climbing steadily toward a climax, it stops sex becoming too orgasm focused, making it last longer.” So, pull out after a couple minutes and just focus on her, if you know what I mean. Then get back to business.
3. Do something different.
“Do anything to change the mood, keeping it sexy but maintaining a measure of control,” Cox said, suggesting you hop out of bed and do it on the kitchen table. Then on the floor. Then in the laundry room. Long story short, switch it up.
4. Stay away from your favorite position.
“Certain positions turn us on more or stimulate us more effectively. If you want the sex to last longer, you’re better off choosing something that isn’t as visually erotic or where you feel less simulated,” she said. So yeah, you love rear entry? Save that for the grand finale. Lose all sense of control when she’s on top? You get on top—until you’re ready to finish, that is.
5. Slow down.
“There’s good evidence the strength of your orgasm, like hers, depends on the length of foreplay and other erotic stimulation involved. It feels much more satisfying when you’ve hovered at the ‘plateau’ stage (the stage after arousal and before orgasm) for longer,” Cox says.
“Slowing sex down isn’t just for her benefit – it’s for yours as well. It’s well worth making the effort!”
Well, you heard her.
6. Jerk it.
Sorry for being so blunt, but it's true. “Make the ‘together’ orgasm the second one. Most men find they have much better control second time around.”
7. Try the ‘stop-start’ technique.
Tracey Cox's advice: “Step one: During a solo sex session, bring yourself to the brink then stop four times before finally allowing yourself to orgasm. Continue this ‘training’ for several weeks until you feel you know the point you can bring yourself to without letting go.
“Step two: This time she joins you and uses her hand, with you telling her when to start and stop.
“Step three: You repeat the initial exercise but inside her.
“The secret to getting the ‘stop-start’ right is to focus on pleasure and sensation, rather than trying to distract yourself.”
8. And a bonus tip from us: think about something that’s not hot at all.
Think about long division. Tofu. Big, hairy spiders ascending from your toilet, perhaps. Or all the times you've disappointed your parents.
Anything that you find seriously unattractive, imagine it clearly in your mind juuust enough that you delay your orgasm a little longer, but not so much that you lose your boner. Even just thinking about baseball scores may be enough to slow you down but not put a stop to things.